The Boy Who Stutters

It’s been a week since school started, and I still don’t have my uniform. I made a promise that I’d finally be able to wear it by this week as we were only given one week allowance.   I went to the tailor shop, which my best friend recommended, to check if my uniforms are already tailored. Fortunately, they are all done so I told the tailor that I’d be back just to get my payment. By the way, his shop is just near so I just traveled by my grandfather’s bike. I came home, informed my father about it, and courageously asked him for money. He asked for the amount and I answered how much it is exactly hence receiving the exact amount. I immediately returned to acquire my uniforms. But this is not about my uniform, this is about my black shoes. I realized, I already have my uniform, my old black pants, but black shoes. I ought to buy a new pair because I got nothing to wear; however, I don’t have any budget. For some reason, I don’t want to ask for money. And for some ...

Describe me as a line I will tell you I’m fine. It’s hard to choose what kind Maybe because I’m blind. A straight or curve, long and short Unstable self or some of sort I’m a straight but slightly bend No one thinks I can ascend It’s hard to choose what word to say But describe me if you may What kind of line do I make? Maybe it’s undefined, I can’t take. Life has many ups and downs We can tell that life is round I have a life like the others Yet different that no one bothers I want to think that I’m straight That I’m stable and not a curve But my ego has great restraints That tells me I’m no superb Again, what kind of line am I? It’s undefined that I can’t lie. I’m not aware that I’m unknown Please inform me so I can know. I’m unstable, changing, and moving I will ascend endlessly while growing I’ll be myself as I pass by So what kind of line am I? - TBWS June 25, 2015 --- Third entry in Creative Writin...

I was sitting on a bench in my favorite spot when a girl sat beside me. I didn’t mind her at first because I was busy looking at the view in front of me. I turned my head to see her face and learned that she was crying.  “Miss,” I called as I offer my handkerchief. She accepted it and thanked me.  “Are you okay?” I asked.  She answered that she’s not fine and started to cry a little louder.  “I just broke up with my boyfriend,” she started.  “ I knew that I’m not the only one, but I loved him!” she cried.  “December 15, it was my worst birthday. I saw him with another girl. They were eating at our favorite place. He used to surprise me with Camote cue. It’s my favorite. Damn! I miss him.” She emphasized.  “We used to watch volleyball in his house. He said that I’m obsessed with it. I really am!” she snapped.  I moved closer and tried to comfort her.  “He always teases me that I’m ambitious. Well, ...

Everyone’s eyes are on you. Other people are looking at you. Their minds are thinking of you and their mouths are speaking about you. They judge without knowing, they talk without reflecting, and they understand without learning. Everyone is different. We can say that we were created equal, but we’re not. We see each other differently and our perspectives are from our point of view. But who am I in the eyes of others? Writing others’ perspective is not easy and has never been easy. It is difficult to think about how people look at you and what they think of you, but it’s harder when you don’t even know how to look upon yourself.  I will still try my best to write others’ perspective about me from my perspective. A serious and snob individual, an intelligent student, and a responsible teenager; the leader of the group, and the boss, that’s how they see me. That’s what I think how they look at me. How did I know? I just know it. But of course, there’s still an explanation as...

You stayed. I thought that’s the solution; I later realized that that’s the problem. The ultimate paradox, it sure is.  I started asking myself whether it is reasonable to feel the way I feel towards you, and to think the way I do about you. I couldn’t figure whether my emotions are valid since they are always left unspoken. What could have gone wrong when we were perfectly happy? What would have occurred if you just didn’t make that mistake? I’m wondering what should happen now that we’re pretty messed up. It’s so unfortunate that we aren’t ruined beautifully but miserably. Why did you stay? I kept telling myself that your reason to stay was valid until I no longer believe that it is. Why did you stay when you shouldn’t have to? I kept believing that I need you until I no longer do. I kept thinking that your absence would destroy me until I realize it actually won’t.  Why did you stay?  Why did you?  Why?  I guess I would never k...

I started to feel something I wasn’t supposed to feel. I thought being with you is enough for me to be at peace, but why is it that I am starting to feel the contrary. Why are my emotions at war towards you? I know I wasn’t supposed to feel this, yet I think about it now. Is what I feel reasonable? Can it be? Should it be reasonable?  You stayed, he let you. However, I come to realize that your stay here is being counterproductive. I prove it as more days have gone by. It saddens me actually. I couldn’t accept the fact that you remain low, and think lowly. You act as if you are secured, but we both know you aren’t. I would like to think that your behavior means something. I wish it’s only your way to ease the pain. I wish that’s your way of dealing with your miserable life.  I hate to think that way, but I do. I would want to excuse you, but it just happens that I cannot. I cannot excuse you with your indolent attitude; it is unacceptable. I will not excuse you with...

Walang Pamagat Sinimulan kong magsulat para sayo Hindi ko alam kung kailang ‘to hihinto Mga salita na galing sa puso’t isipan Ang aking pag-ibig ay hindi na matatakpan Isang tulang nagbabakasakaling maging kanta Isang saknong na umabot sa ikalawa Isang tibok ang aking nadama Sa isang taong aking nakilala Ika’y nakatabi sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon Nabihag ako at kinuha ang aking atensyon Ano itong nadarama? Hindi ko alam, pag-ibig na nga ba? Mag-intay sa tamang pagkakataon Mamahalin ka anumang kondisyon Hindi magsasawa, hindi ka sasaktan Magiging tapat, at iyong iyo lamang! TBWS January 17, 2016 This was published in  Utot Catalog  on May 11, 2016. 

It’s been days… weeks actually. It has been weeks since the day I discovered, and I shall expect more weeks to pass before I recover. I am yet to accept the choice you made. I am yet to accept your decision. I am yet to suffer –a little longer.  As days and nights have passed, I admit that there were a few breakdowns. Even simple things could trigger me and I couldn’t help but be emotional. I’m not saying this to get your sympathy… because I don’t actually need it. Because even I manage to, will you do something about it? Will you make things right?  I expect you to make things right, and I would want to hope that you’re trying to. I will keep hoping and I will keep being disappointed if you fail. It’s okay though, at least you tried. Maybe I just have to be grateful and accept what you are willing to do. Maybe I just have to appreciate what you can do for us. Maybe I should be content with what we have now and not ask for more. Perhaps that’s the only way we can be a...