The Boy Who Stutters

It should be easy to assess the STS aspect of cinema as it certainly ticks all the boxes for science, technology, and society. Filmmaking is a discipline – or at least it was eventually considered as one, being the youngest of the art forms, when the art of cinema was taken seriously (instituting the study of craft in the academe). Film is a technological invention and remains to be one as innovations are constantly made in the medium (coming of sound and color). And finally, if I may say, cinema moves society – economically, spiritually, culturally, and politically. Being a film student in such a university had led me to the conclusion that cinema implicates all disciplines. You name it! From different philosophies, abstracts, and ideologies, to sciences of all sorts, cinema becomes a significant, if not the most important, medium to “represent” them. It is said that cinema is the culmination of all the arts, I wish to agree but I am not writing to glorify cinema per se because that ...

20210809 How come you’re here? Certainly, this one’s different as I wouldn’t share a link to my social media unlike before because of some very personal content. Intrigued? Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This is the next entry for my UP slash college journey slash sharing-too-much-than-I-should-about-my-life blog entry. Because why not? I only do this once a year or two…and it’s always better to share your life with a stranger, isn’t it? Only that you’re not a stranger, are you? Regardless, I don’t mind; it’s not like you would tell me you’ve read this, or would you? Don’t. Perhaps it’s better that you keep being a silent reader, as you’ve always been because I have a confession to make. Or confessions, rather. Alright, where were we?  Ikalawang Taon sa UP (theboywhostutters.blogspot.com) A life crisis. Pandemic. Second Year. Ugh… it was the second year, an ‘early’ quarter-life crisis, then a pandemic and a life crisis again. Now I’m through with my third year. But I’m definitely no...

“Because more important than the award itself is the initiative to help the country realize the significance of cinema as a political tool and as a sign that reforms can be made and achieved” (Bolisay 189).  Ano nga ba ang saysay ng karangalan at pagkilala sa mga natatanging pelikula kung mananatili itong dekorasyon sa pangalan ng indibidwal na lumikha? Anong silbi ng parangal mula sa ibang bansa kung ang pelikula ay mula sa eksploytasyon ng danas ng kapwang Filipino na kinasangkapan bilang naratibo at laman ng pelikula? Maging mahusay at tanyag man ang likha, marapat na iakibat ang mga tanong na: (a) para kanino? (b) paano mapagsisilbihan ng pelikulang Filipino ang mamamayang Filipino? (Valerio 1). [FULL CONTENT REPOSTED @  Pelikula at Bansa: Mga Potensyal at Hadlang Para sa Kaunlaran – SineSalita (wordpress.com) Ang pelikula ay hindi katutubong midyum. Mula ito sa Kanluran at isa sa mga mahahalagang impluwensiya na dala ng kolonyal na kasaysayan. Naitala ang unang pagpapala...

Today I got my heart broken. I hate that I only write when my heart breaks. I wish I could write when it is happy. As to save it. As to remember. As to claim that not all the time is a sad day. Only if that is the case. This is not the first time I had my heart broken. And I know it is not going to be the last. But every time it happens, it hits differently. It is supposed to feel the same, right? The same thing just happened again. Again. Why does it feel like the first time? I thought I knew what tomorrow would bring because today was just like yesterday. For someone who does not have anything to look forward into anymore, I am almost always wrong. Today I realized, I can be more broken than I already am. But I wonder what is there to break? I fear that I am just making up this feeling, so I get to be human for a day. Sentient and not oblivious. Overreacting and not sedentary. Breaking my heart is the last thing I would make myself do – not because it is hard, but because it is easy....

To speak rhetorically is counterproductive for common understanding. To speak literally likewise does not always contribute much, or does it? But to speak has various forms. It can be printed or recorded; it can be silent or deafening. To speak is to express – to reveal what goes unsaid, to repeat what goes unheard, and to resolve what goes stated but ignored. Cinema speaks. It communicates more than it aims and sometimes aims more than what can only be communicated. The medium is limited but has a lot of power, and it thrives and fails with such nature. Cinema has a sharp tongue. It tastes the reality and assumes its knowledge as to live through it. It can also lick what is presented and passively swallow. It tastes and spits, rarely, and almost always misses the ground; but when it does, it will surely leave a spot. When facts can be presented poetically, do meanings become more defined and understanding more essential? In documentary films that are formally stunning and have practi...

Two months since the flu and I’m still sick. There was blood. Mornings linger like a fly unbothered. It’s disgusting but a proof of life. Or death. I learned to count the days unlike before when time didn’t own me. I owned it. It was an illusion. It was real. Neglect and regret, I do. Like a wheel with no break, my demise goes unchallenged. The image looks lifeless, as everyone is. But I am not everyone. I am alive. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. Even if I don’t want to. I am alive. I never realized how long the nights are when the ceiling speaks the same monologue so I can sleep. Although nothing was written, everything was heard. It was an illusion. It was real. Visions are forced to wake up. There has to be a reason, I thought, even nothing matters anymore. No one does. Not even myself. Although I should. But really? Self-importance is indifference to everyone. So why should I? The will is lost. I have not written any alter series lately because it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mat...

“Islam is not only a religion but a way of life.” Such statement is manifested by Muslims in their culture where sciences and arts play important roles as to examine the extent of the said religion to be more than what people perceive Islam to be. This is the same religion that marked a significant part in the history of the country – from its indoctrination to the southern natives to its struggle against the colonialism. In the contemporary times, the religion and its followers still encounter multitude of issues concerning primarily the social, cultural, and political dimensions they encompass. The so-called “Moro problem” does not only reflect the matters of the Muslim people within themselves but more importantly the multidimensional system problem that significantly involve politics, culture, as well as history and economy. Given the problematic situation, Muslim arts present and represent organized manifestations which explain the ideological rationale for the cause and effect of...

Naging professor ko yung nagdisenyo ng UP Sablay, nagkaroon ng orgmate na math instructor (buddy ko nung applicant palang ako kaya special mention), tapos naging orgmate yung professor sa isang film class eventually. Big deal sa’kin ang mga ito noong panahon na nararanasan ko sila. Manghang-mangha ba. What are the odds? Sa sobrang lawak ng UP, ang liit pa rin ng mundo sa loob. Kaya naging maingat na sa paghook-up. Chz. Nakakita, nakausap ng mga artista’t aktor. Nakapanood ng shoot, naging bahagi, gumawa ng sarili. Sa sobrang daming opportunities, wala ka nang mapili at pinapalipas nalang sila; umaasang marami pa namang dadating. Nagkaroon na ng beep card. Nadelay sa MRT at inakalang sobrang tagal. 2 minutes lang pala. Narealize na malaking bagay pala yung nawala sa dalwang minutong delay ng tren – o siguro ganun lang sa metro manila. Iba ang takbo ng oras at tao sa terminal sa Centris tuwing tanghali at gabi. Sobrang daming ruta ng jeep at kapag mali ang sinakyan mo, paniguradong magla...