UNSPOKEN
Do things really get better or do we just get used to it?
I've written ten and made a series for the unspoken thoughts I had for over the past years. I was good at it. I am good at expressing to no one, thus I am bad at communicating with anyone. I like ironies, paradoxes as well. What's the difference though? The former being superficial and the latter seemingly appearing profound. As if it matters.
I'm tired.
Aren't you?
For all the times that I hear the never-ending cycle of cuss and fuss... [Oh, never-ending cycle. never-ending and cycle. redundant. repetitive. Exactly what the situation is. Redundant and repetitive. Predictable and exhausting]...I know exactly how and where it would end.
You never learn.The screams echoed to my head no matter how calm you are. It keeps bombarding me like a restless soul - seeking comfort from the unknown; wandering aimlessly till it hits someone...or until someone hits mine.
What are the chances?
So odd.
Even I keep your hopes up, things just don't change, or at least not that easily. I would lose count as to how many times you try and fail. But did you really try though? Have I attempted to change things about you? Why does it seem I'm good at evaluating your feelings but worse at correcting your ways? I have so many questions that are yet to be answered. Don't bother. You tried and failed. That's the truth.
Normalizing things that are not supposed to be is the last thing we would do, but we are powerless now, aren't we? We have always been powerless to control the situation - no matter how hard we try. Isn't that frustrating? You have caused pain but it seemed ineffective. No matter how much you release or how hard you keep your anger and madness, wounds would bleed and scars will linger.
My mind is a dangerous place. You can only imagine the violence transpiring inside it. But no, you're wrong. I am not a violent person, unlike you.
Unlike your tendencies.
Unlike your attempts.
Unlike your acts.
Unlike you, I am in control, or so I thought.
You wronged me when you told me time heals.
You wronged me more when you believed that to err is human.
You wronged me big time when you turned into someone you would not want me to be.
Sure, it's been years when the first unspoken was released. Unexpectedly, there were nine more to be written in the following days, months, and years. And now, this is the eleventh.
So sure, time heals - if you daringly say so!
Sure, men are flawed. It's the imperfections that make them human after all. To make mistakes cannot get more human, right?
So sure, to err is human - if you blindly wish to justify your actions!
Sure, 'I am my the master of my fate and I am the captain of my soul.' I should not be dictated by someone who failed to be my example. Being said, that still serves as an example, doesn't it?
So sure, be someone I firmly would not aspire to become!
The last unspoken started with - it's been a year.
So let me end this similarly the way the tenth ended:
The going gets tough and it becomes tougher as the agony you each have in yourselves continues to aggravate every situation. 'You wish to perish yet you ask for health.' Paradoxically, the thing that is killing you is keeping you alive.Let that be another unspoken word I have to conceal in this text - for no one would totally know what you feel, what you went through, and what created and destroyed you!
-TBWS
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