Substance

When we talk about relationships, we all have different perspectives. You might have a friend who shares the way you view relationships, and of course - a friend who does not share yours. We set standards, ideal ones, to what kind of relationship we want. We have this set of things we wish to experience with a particular person at a particular time (a person that we wish to exist). But if you're one kind of unconventional, one who does not have desires but still has standards, good for you. I hope you're looking for substance.

A friend once asked me for an advice about the girl he's pursuing.

He wanted to hear my say and I simply answered, "Look for Substance." 

He didn't get it.

"If that girl has substance, pursue her," I said.

I gave him time to contemplate what it means; he then told me the things he sees on the girl he likes.

"She's beautiful, she's talented, she can sing and dance, and I think we have the same wavelength," he enumerated.

I realized that that is what substance means to him. I wouldn't blame him for his standards. Who am I to disprove his desires? However, I wish he has substance himself.

To the people reading this, whether you have a relationship or not, look for substance. As the cliche goes, do not settle for less. Have someone whom you can see a future with. Do not indulge yourself with short-term happiness, instead invest for the long one. Though I couldn't and wouldn't blame you but it just says a lot about who you are and how you live your life.

Look for substance, - something that has value and deserves to be valued, someone you can value and someone who can do the same to you. Find a person who loves herself more than she loves you, someone who wouldn't settle for less as you do, and a partner who deserves your love and care, and your time and attention. I hope you find a person with substance and is also looking for same.

As for you who are reading this - have substance. It is only fair to do so if you're looking for substance, isn't it? Don't dare look for substance if you do not have yourself. Have values that are not only desirable but also admirable. Be the person who will make yourself proud, not just a person who is blindly proud. Be a man of substance - with full of virtues,the one who practices his values, someone who won't settle for less and is always seeking for the best.

Don't confuse these things for setting the bar high because this is how things ought to be. I do not believe with the social standards we have now.
Everything is just temporary. Relationships are short-lived. People are taken for granted. Those who deserve to be happy don't get the happiness they deserve. 


If only people start to look for substance in others and learn to have substance themselves, we would save a lot of time rather than wasting it with the wrong person. Hopefully, we'll all get the happiness that we deserve.We would not hurt the feelings we do not mean to hurt. We would not be hurt by the person who truly values our existence. We would not waste time arguing about petty things over and over again.
.
.
.
But...
.
.
But I guess this is another ideal standard I'm setting.
In spite of that, start looking for substance in people and be a person of substance, too.

---
-TBWS
09.22.17

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