My Stature as a Student

This is the continuation of my blog You Reap What You Sow and yes, I'm gonna talk about ME again.

Stature (noun) = the quality or status gained by growth, development, and achievement. Or simply, REPUTATION.

I have become fond of gradually asking those whom I just met, - what's your (first) impression of me?

And here are the most common answers I always get:

snob. serious. scary. 

I had learned to accept it since almost everyone thought of me like that...before. Yes, I might be a snob - I seemed snob. Yes, I am definitely serious. No, I am not that scary. The latter impression would be hopefully removed once people get to know me.

I had that reputation in school. It didn't come from me, so just we're clear; it came from the people I asked, or at least that's what they thought.

Honestly, I built that kind of image and I don't regret having such a reputation. I wished to be dignified, to be worthy of respect, and to have genuine integrity. And I think I didn't fail as I could prove this with the treatment I get from people. I hope you get the picture I want to depict, especially if you don't usually see me or haven't actually known me.

However...

However, the situation has to change. I had to change since I wasn't happy. Yes, at first, it's more than flattering. It has boosted my self-esteem greatly. I gained a voice and people listened to me. I had authority and people obey me. I was a follower before I became a leader...and damn, being a leader ain't an easy job. There's too much pressure, both external and internal pressure.

Yes, I was happy until I wasn't.

I had no actual friends, or I guess I left them for my self-growth. I had to, or else I wouldn't grow (or at least that's what I thought). I always sought progress that I realized I was walking the path alone. I didn't like it. Being alone is tough, but I suppose I chose to be. I was afraid to become vulnerable because I observed that vulnerability makes people weak (or at least that's what I thought) and I didn't want to be weak or even to be seen weak, (because I know I am... I was weak).

I have burdened too much and learned that embracing weakness becomes a strength. True enough, I have learned to accept my flaws and they became my strength - assets actually.

Once you accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

Believe me, this is so true.

I stutter, and everyone knows that's a flaw... until I thought otherwise. It isn't my flaw, it's my ASSET.

I was a short kid and was bullied for being small.. until I have grown taller than those who criticized me. People actually outgrow one another (not only emotionally, but physically too)

I had pimples and acne all over my face (that phase of teenage years)...until I practiced proper hygiene and good habits. Now...uhm... blackheads are my only enemy. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kidding aside...

When I said flaws, I meant your weaknesses, your struggles, or things that you wish you don't have and the person you wish you aren't. If you're only troubled with your physical flaws, I suppose you are yet to experience worse ones.

Now, I am being a preacher, let's go back to the subject!





My former adviser gave me an award: JACK OF ALL TRADES

For being good at everything he does.

I honestly didn't know what Jack of All Trades was. All I know was it's a recognition for being good at everything I do. I didn't think it was the highest among the awards she has given the class; I was just thankful and all.

Years passed (Yes, YEARS!), I stumbled upon the same phrase as I was browsing the web. Jack of All Trades...Master of None. I became curious and finally googled the phrase.

"JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF NONE"

is a figure of speech used in reference to a person who has many skills, rather than having an expertise on one. 

That's only when I learned about the phrase. I suddenly realized that I should be more flattered when it was awarded to me as my adviser considered me as versatile. But... having learned the additional phrase...master of none... I'm glad I wasn't as flattered as I should be.

That struck me.

Am I more generalist rather than a specialist? I can say I WAS.
From since then, I assessed myself and evaluated what my forte is. I focused on empowering that strength but I made sure I didn't neglect the other fields. I didn't like the phrase MASTER OF NONE, that's why I worked hard to have a forte and I think I do have now.

But hey, let me preach again.

Just because you're jack of all trades doesn't mean you are master of none! 

Be proud that you can do MORE things than other people. Be proud that you are versatile. Don't feel inferior to those people who are expert at something - because to tell you frankly, the people whom you envy are the same people who envy you for being good at many things. /winks/

Have you got a better picture of my stature? (Wow! nag-rhyme: picture-stature... 😂😁😅)

I chose to be like this. I built what I have now.
I didn't find myself; I created myself.

People usually wondered, how to be you... and I hate it when people say I want to be like you. Yes, it was flattering before but as I learned my values, I want them to be better than me.

"I've always told you that you inspire me...not because you seem invincible, but because I know you are, yet you keep on standing up and [you have] kept moving forward."

When a schoolmate has told me this, I knew everything's worth it.

"So often you find that the students you're trying to inspire are the ones who end up inspiring you!"

My 9th-grade adviser said my thoughts exactly. Others claim that I inspire them, but actually, it is they who inspire me to do more and be better.

Thanks for being such an ideal student leader and an inspirational student.

 My 10th-grade adviser told me in his birthday message. 

"Being the most responsible and the most talented student, I always thank God that He gave me you anak."

 My 11th-grade adviser wrote this in his letter to me. I am also very much grateful I met him.

"You are one of the most genuine people I know. You are incredibly smart and talented. A lot of people may not fully understand you, but that's just the way it goes. I know you still have a lot to show and rest assured that I will be there watching you get them. I believe in you."

My confidante wrote. Thank you for believing in me!

"You did not just help someone to be motivated or determined to do more, you actually saved a life."

This last quote that I revealed is from an unexpected someone and what she said was something I didn't expect too. 

---

Yes, those are the verbatim lines I quote from the people around me. Hearing those words, reading those lines, receiving that kind of appreciation and gratitude make me think if I deserve everything I've got. I always make sure that I express my gratitude to every people who helped and are believing in me. I am forever grateful, gaiz! 

So yeah! This is my reputation as a student. I revealed WHAT my stature is. Do you wonder HOW I earned it? 

That's going to be an interesting subject for my next blog - my three I's. 

Influence. Impact. Image.