Men Will Always Be Men

Your toxic masculinity is sickening!

Imagine someone has said those strong words to you. Oh I know it hurts your ego. It stings your masculinity big time, doesn't it? The idea of masculinity has taken men into places - places that they conquered, fought for, and stood upon up to this day forward. However, can you still call yourself a man after people have labeled your masculinity as toxic? Would you believe it? Should you? Can you disprove it and prove otherwise? As men, we naturally set standards for our masculinity, and these standards are shaped by the people we grew up with, by the society we lived in, and by the influence that the environment has affected us. 

I haven't studied psychology to be deemed credible in stating such things. But I know these things because I'm a man - I can tell. 

I suddenly found myself asking, "Am I man enough?" because my alter ego tells me that I have a different definition of masculinity than what is commonly thought.

Men will always be men. 

Yes, I agree. I agree to disagree.  Men have always been men as society deemed them to be: The egoistic, resentful, proud image; the superior, in-control, strongman demeanor; at the same time, the naive, numb, and dumb character. You all have defined men as you know it. But why do we have this outlook after all? 

I can't take your hypocrisy and the double standards you have!

I didn't write this to justify men or to objectify them. But I guess that's what I'm exactly doing. Nonetheless, men aren't spared from their habitual hypocrisy and existing double standards. We all do possess hypocrisies we all too deny. Every double standard we didn't think we practiced for that long has now become a part of every belief we will never dare to remove - unless challenged. 

We have thought of men like the beginning of civilization, without them there will be no family to form the smallest unit of society. However, biologically, men need women... or women needed men. 

Feminism comes in, talks about equality were debated, and the like. Who's better - who's superior - who derives more essence became the question and cause of chaos on equality and peace. But despite everything, I stumble upon a belief that 'men will always be men', which is actually a double standard, isn't it? 

How can you square one entity within a belief that it is what you thought it is? How often do we see things the way we want it to see rather than actually seeing it as it is? This is where the conflict lies - the misconception that promulgated that men will always be men, succeeding it with the belief: 'it's their nature.' Well, that's where I'll stop, for my reason is not fully informed and equipped to argue such opposing notion... just yet. I'm just expressing from experience after all. 

I realized the purpose of this whole thing. What are you trying to say, young lad? What do you want to prove with this wordiness that seems not so substantive at all? Ouch. That hurts my ego. I'm trying to create content here, something I'd like to claim to be inquisitive. How I wish I am that convincing; I wonder what my readers think of in every content they see here on my blog because frankly, you all seem to be silent readers. Do I affect you? 

I just realized its purpose. I aim to express the sentiments I have regarding the notion of 'men will always be men' and it ought to be enlightening. Because I was enlightened. 

I thought it was just me. I thought no one shared my perspective. I thought I was the only one who has defined masculinity unconventionally. You see, I take masculinity as something growing. Being masculine is something one has to learn, to adapt, and most importantly to create - definitely not dictated. As masculinity is being defined to be qualities appropriate or usually associated with a man, I think it is also subjected to change and nurture. To the extent that a man is allowed to feel something society hasn't thought he can or should feel. I don't believe that men will always be men, but then again I cannot yet oppose human nature. Yes, a man (the term for the human race) is bound to be as what nature has set him up. Then here comes the idea of nature vs. nurture. 

I stand that men will always be men - as what nature bounded him to be. But I contend the notion which society deems men to be. Society cannot generalize men. One generalization has personally pressured me deeply, which I won't reveal here - yet. Society is capable of creating a common truth that everyone takes as an absolute reality. Being said, I think society should also be able to mend truths according to individual preferences. I may have committed some fallacies, but I stand by my bias. 

All men are different. As aforementioned, we may have an egoistic, resentful, proud image; we may practice superiority and control; and we may become naive, numb, and dumb. All at once or one after the other. 

If you change the way you see things, things you see will change. 

Men can be as vulnerable as women, yet most people firmly believe that they cannot - or should not. That even men think they are not entitled to feel anything. Our feelings are as valid as anyone's. I never thought that a man in my disposition has that kind of vulnerability. I supposed that that's the downside of it. Men are squared by the society to be men. This is evident with suppressed emotions, uncontained ego, and concealed agony.

April 28, 2018