I am not HIM

I know how much you dream about him,
About how much he becomes sweet,
About what he can do for your happiness

He is someone full of joy,
Someone you enjoy talking to,
Someone I am not

 It hurts me when you want his company more than mine.
It hurts me more when you like when he makes you laugh.
But it kills me when you love the very idea of HIM.

But you know what, it doesn’t pain me at all.
Seeing you happily together is enough to prove a point.
What pains me is that I am falling out of love.

Don’t be sorry for choosing him.
Let me be sorry for I become inadequate.
I am sorry for not being HIM.

I just wish you enjoy my presence as much as I enjoy yours.
You wronged me when in fact you enjoy his.
But no, it doesn’t pain me at all.

I am sorry for he is conventional.
But I will not be sorry for being unconventional.
“Why be ordinary, if you can be different?”  I always say.

No, I am not giving up.
I’ll suffer till it breaks my ground.
I’ll stay at all cost.

This is not me leaving; this is you pushing me away.
No matter how hard I try, I am not HIM.

I will never be HIM. 
- TBWS
February 18, 2017
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