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Saturday, August 11, 2018

It's been a week since the class started - and history has been made as the first day of the classes got suspended due to bad weather. (Rest assured this will ultimately be remembered by all the freshmen like me!)

This is it!

The jitters and excitement have mixed up in my body and mind for I am finally here - in the University of the Philippines...DILIMAN.

This is what I've been looking for.

I thought as I attended my classes, orientations, and welcome events in the first week - having met freshies like me, upperclassmen of different courses, and professors with distinct personalities. Being said, I realize that U.P. WILL DESTROY ME. ←THIS IS THE ORIGINAL TITLE OF THIS BLOG!

Oh no! Why? 😦
...
..
.
Well, why not? 😅

Academic Freedom!!!

If there's one essential thing U.P. has already imparted me (having many more to come) - it is to be ready to question, absorb, and resist knowledge. The University I entered seems so ready for me but I questioned myself whether I was ever ready for it. The people inside the campus are so diverse that I have to absorb as a fact. New notions and beliefs that are different from my principles are being introduced daily and I wonder if I am yet to resist.

An eye-opener waiting to be a life changer

That's how I can describe the experiences I'm starting to encounter. So far, U.P. has proved what I thought it is and I fear the day it will do otherwise.
I was looking for a place with no religion and U.P. has none. I was seeking a place where I won't be smart-shamed and U.P. proves that I am not even smart. I was longing for a place where new and different ideas are tolerated and U.P actually celebrates them.
These made me flatter myself that I truly belong to U.P.

It is very enlightening to prove and disprove the common perceptions of the masses (and I) have upon the University - its people and culture since I'm finally inside and firsthand experiencing what it's like.
It is true that students of University of the Philippines (in the whole UP system) are diverse - very different from one another: from rich to poor, from theists to agnostics to atheists, from men and women to LGBTQIAPK, from bald to neon colored hair, from just Filipino students to various Asian people, from activist students to capitalist professors. I realized that the diversity of the University is what makes it U.P., isn't it?

To serve the people

Despite all the sorts, the University has a common ground that pushes its scholars toward that goal with Honor and Excellence.
And for me, that's a massive pressure.
Having something like that as an end may or may not put me in a dilemma of processes, evolution, and growth. There's a ton of tension in my mind and body every time I enter a room - be it a class, a program, or mere office, let alone that I'm alone.

U.P. is starting to destroy me but not in a corrupt and depressing way. It is starting to destroy my ideologies about people, our country, and the world. Yup, I can tell. I know.

In spite of only having class orientations and introductions of syllabi, my professors have all struck me as people of their very discipline with respective ideologies about the people, our country, and the world. They are starting to destroy mine and I've been told to either let them influence me or just disagree with their biases.
U.P. students are not totally people of conformity. In a sense that they speak and stand up when rights are suppressed and individuality is oppressed by those in power which actually gives them POWER as free but critical thinkers. I realized that not all students in this University are radical, or at least not to an extent I knew. Others are apolitical and apathetic which I think truly violates the essence of being Iskolar ng at para sa Bayan. But paradoxically as stated, U.P. students are not totally people of conformity thus I may not join their cause and only serve the purpose I set on my own...or not.
The culture of the University, particularly here in Diliman, still differs from other UP campuses. For one, I tried wearing slippers and shorts attending my classes and I found myself being the only one who does, or at least among the 60 students in a room, I am one of the 3. (Unlike elbi where I am from. My mom even used to share that my dad dressed like that when going to class in UPLB.) I know it's petty but it speaks something about the environment I am in and will live for the next years. But I proved that you won't get judged by the way you dress; I even saw someone wearing a see-through top. U.P. has its culture and there's a very slight chance you're going to deviate from it (but then again, paradoxically...)
Passing UPCAT gives us bragging rights. But I realize it's the people outside who gave it and put us to the pedestal that made those who passed UPCAT humbly hambog. Not that I am, but generally, okay? HAHAHAHAHA! Likas sa mga isko ang pabibo at pabida. They are naturally like that. I won't use 'we' because I am yet to become pabibo at pabida like them!

Mayayabang ang mga taga-UP!

I will brave myself to confirm that it is TRUE because 'wala bang ipagyayabang?' See? I am becoming like them. However, it is and should always be dangal bago husay sa mga Iskolar ng Bayan.
It has only been a week and I am starting to feel heavy and doubting myself whether I can still continue (I think other freshmen feel the same) - the culture shock from my college, the level of difficulty of my subject, the tightness of my first-semester schedule, the undefined mockery of K-12 pioneers (yes, we are first to experience that) and the existing competitive environment everywhere. It is already pressing yet we freshmen still got a lot ahead of us. The best - or worse is yet to come; we are only starting. We haven't even scratched the surface yet.

There's another thing I noticed which I am happy about the University. They appear to be more open and willing to cater to the needs of its students - particularly our mental health. I have been at multiple events (GEAR UP and FRSHMNNGHT hosted by ENCampusUPD; GFT 2018 and Happinews of UFM2018; and University Welcome Assembly by the Admin) where it is evident that they wish us well by providing speakers, alumni and experts alike, who talked about UP Life and positivity; performers to entertain us, and activities to welcome us. I know they are probably just perks of being a freshman but I am thankful for having attended them all.

(There are upperclassmen who do not explicitly encourage us to attend these events - particularly orientations because it might spoil us. That they had preferred to experience UP Life by themselves but I think I am still yet to experience the real thing whether I attended such orientation or not.)

It is a crazy first week. I know it will be a crazier month. And it will be my craziest college life.
I, therefore, conclude (feeling science major kasi hindi naman in real life) that U.P. will destroy me but will definitely create a new me.

To read more of my UP journey:
1. U.P. OR NOTHING, my UPCAT story
2. Welcome to U.P. (THIS BLOG!), the first blog as I entered
3. One Month at U.P., the second blog after a month
4. Back to Square One my blog after a semester