A.M.

Parang natatakot akong maging gising pa rin sa ganitong oras.
Delikadong mag-isip.
Delikadong mag-isa.

Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na matulog bago mag alas-dose para maligtas ng ilang Linggo pero may gabi, tulad nito, na pumapalpak ako.

Hindi inasahan.
Bakit ko aasahan diba?
Takot nga ako diba.
Hindi ba?

Nagpaalala na naman ang utak ko.
Ng kamalian. Ng pagsisi.
Ng kakulangan. Ng kawalang halaga.
Sana iba ang pinaalala, kung mahihiling ko lang. 
Sana. 

Ang bigat kaso hindi ko mahanap kung ano.
Kung alin. Kung saan. Kung sino.
O bakit, o kaya paano?

Matutulog ako. 
Magigising at buburahin ang bawat kataga na nadama sa panahon nang naisulat ko 'to.

Kalimutan nalang natin.
Ulit.

16 June 2020

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