SPEECH OF GRATITUDE: 2016 (FULL TRANSCRIPT)

“Good day everyone! Now, I am standing right here in front of you to deliver a speech to my fellow stutterers. I once imagined myself delivering a speech to my fellow stutterers and right now, I am definitely sure that this is a real one and not an imagination. I don’t know where to begin with but there’s one thing I’m sure about; to share my experiences in having this kind of condition to the people I always care for and to the people who need an inspiration, as well.
When I was a child, I have no idea that I have this condition, stuttering. I am not aware that I speak that way until the people around me started to tease me, to make fun and laugh at me. As a child, I had many burdens to the people around me but of course, it was a childish act. I encountered several people and most of them teased me after hearing how I speak. I had a hard time coping with situation like that but as I grew up, I learned how to handle situations like that, and I realized that I’m different.
I just want to share some of my experiences. A teacher told me that it’s a lifetime condition. It was the first time to hear those words. I didn’t know how to react or what to say. I couldn’t decide if I’ll take it as an insult or just informing me about my condition. Well, it doesn’t matter; at least she has let me know.
Next, you will not believe me. I had an experience in being an emcee before. My aunt asked me to be the host of my cousin’s birthday, her daughter’s 7^th birthday. She’s surely aware about my condition and I don’t know what went to her mind to ask me so. Well, I hosted that event with my eldest female cousin. I wouldn’t accept it without any partner. I won’t share what happened that day.
Lastly, I’m still experiencing it (right now), every day. It is the urge to say something but I can’t, especially during class discussions. Every time a teacher asks questions and I know the answer, I want to raise my hand and answer it. I want to volunteer when no one does but I can’t. I’m afraid even I don’t care anymore if other people will laugh when I stutter.
There comes a time when I want to be normal, not because I’m describing my condition as a disorder. I want to speak normally not because of envious. It’s because I want to use my knowledge to teach others, I want to share what I know, I want to help people. Because I think I have so much to give and so much to share. I’m not perfect, nobody is. I don’t know everything but I do know one thing; if you have that one thing that most people need, never hesitate to share it.
Just because you’re different doesn’t mean you don’t belong to the group. I am the valedictorian of my batch when I was in grade school. How could you tell I’m different? I’m a consistent honor student since 1^st grade. How could you judge me with my condition? I earned respect that I deserve from the people around me. I’m not boasting my achievements.
                Right now, I’m standing right here in front of you, still stuttering, still surviving and still fighting. I won’t use this condition to stop what I’ve started. I will never get tired to stand up and face the people to prove them what I got!
                That’s all, thank you!”

            (That was only my introduction, I have still eighteen pages here though! Just kidding, only seventeen pages!) I delivered that speech when I was in grade 9. Tr. Tin asked us to make and to deliver one. After I delivered that speech in my class, I promised to deliver it once again and this time in front of many people –and I just did. I am very grateful to have this opportunity to be here speaking.

            To formally make an introduction, let me greet our respectable guest, Professor Ronald A. Untivero, our hardworking and dearest directress/principal, Mrs. Gloria N. Lontoc, JILS board of directors, our beloved parents, teachers, friends, and fellow completers, good evening to all of you!

            I had to read the valedictory address I delivered four years ago so I can have a guide in making one this time, and I ought to make a good one. This time, I told myself not to make my speech problem a hindrance, because there has been a time in my life when I lost hope and got depressed about it. I kept on crying and blaming why on earth I possess this disorder, why in a million of people out there, it has been me who has it, why me and not the others. Maybe you wouldn’t know how it feels like, to speak like this “Ttttteacher, cacacacan I go to the the cr?” every time I have to go to the wash room, “eeeexcuse po kay Diane” every time after I knocked at her classroom and ask permission to the teacher, “Ggggood morning! This is my rerereport!” every time I’m in the front starting my report, and so many similar situations when I really have to speak. You really have no idea what it’s like to be in my shoes but people have known me as well. So as I was writing this part, I wished that I can execute it fairly enough to make it a good one. I am not here to make the typical speech as I only planned to share my personal stories that, I hope, may inspire people. This is not a valedictory address but a speech of gratitude. Gratitude is the name of our section; thus, it is what this speech is about –to express my gratitude to the people who helped me, who assisted us, who guided each one of us, who became a part of our life, who taught us really well, who never gave up, who sacrificed and did their best for our betterment. This is for you!

            Last year, I was running to become the next Student Council President until I changed my mind and have withdrawn from my candidacy. I had no competition or any rival party for the position so we were only a pending appointees. Teacher Glo wanted me to be the next president, most of the teachers and my classmates wanted me, too. They were all supportive and expecting me to be the next leader, but I backed out and sent my reasons to Tr. Glo. She understood why. One of those reasons is my speech problem, the speaking disorder of Stuttering. I have let go of the chance and turned down my candidacy because I was afraid, not only to the commitment I would take, but the idea of failing other people especially myself. Tr. Glo encouraged me and even told me that “if that’s your reason, you will not be ridiculed because of your speech problem”, she assured. I believed in her when she said that but the thing is, I was still afraid to fill the expectations of other people. The truth is we are all living with the expectations of other people and our expectations to them. That’s the reality we cannot escape but I learned. I thought, it was only right for me but I also knew it wasn’t fair for the people who were supporting and believing in me. Technically, I quitted from the job of serving the school. I quit. I quit not because I gave up, I quit because I needed to take a rest for a while, setting aside my personal reasons. I really wanted to serve people; it’s not only about the incentives I could get, but it’s my desire to help others. People didn’t clearly understand what my real reasons were because I never told them. I really wanted to express this out for those who are still supporting me, and for those people who are still believing in me. What lessons did I learn? It is important to prioritize yourself first especially your health. It is important to know what you should do and what should be done. And above all, if you’re tired, it is important to take a rest, but the more important thing that everyone should learn is to never give up!

There comes a point in our life where we have to decide. Whether minor or major decisions, deciding is difficult. However, we get the chance of choosing from what we think is right or proper, what is beneficial or harmful, and the choice between what we really need and what we really want. Regrets will always be there so be prepared. I decided, even I knew that regrets will come to me someday. Someone has asked me if I regret not being an SC officer? I already knew it and I knew since the time I made the decision that I might regret it someday. Yes, a part of me has regretted why I wasn’t an officer this year. But a great part of me is very thankful for I have still helped people. I could have help more people if I was the president; I don’t mind the regret. Maybe it’s just the way things go. I believe that the next generation of Student Council officers will do a way better than the previous ones. So I am speaking to the next Student Council, may you do your job accordingly and stay committed to help and to serve your fellow students!

            (I was allowed to withdraw from the position so they appointed somebody else. After that, I realized that everything happens for a reason. It is so profound that I let myself quit from something because I was bound to do something else. I didn’t expect that it was the plan for me.)

            Last summer, I had this classmate who I wanted to help as he also needed to be helped. We were classmates for more than 10 years but we didn’t click that much not until the high school days.  I insisted helping him as he once mentioned that he wants to be an honor student by this year so his parents would seat along with the parents of the honor students in the front since he doesn’t want his parents to seat at the back just like when he graduated elementary not being an honor student. In order to help him achieve his goal, I wrote a book, a self-help book. (It is because I couldn’t fully teach him verbally because of my condition). I managed to write a hundred pages and gave it to him when the school year started. I saw his determination and I knew that he is capable of achieving his goal. We became close as I helped him… correction –as we helped each other. He has also helped me in a lot of ways that I could see and learn from him. It wasn’t only him who could get the benefits of my tips and techniques in studying, I was also getting benefits from teaching him. Tr. Glo was right, as she once told me that once you teach other people or once you become a tutor to someone, the students are not the only ones who are learning, but also the one who is teaching as well. Another classmate of mine, a classmate for four years, became acquainted with my teachings. TRIO happened. You know who we are. I won’t elaborate how and when our friendship really has begun, but let me share how they did it.

As I got to know them, I learned that they are MORE THAN who they think they are. I have known them and seen potentials. I knew that they are capable of being achievers. FOCUS lang talaga ang kulang. I tried guiding them with my knowledge and wisdom and they let me. I believe in them, all they should do was to believe in themselves, too, and they did. During the First Quarter, they proved it, and every quarter they have proved it. Even they could prove it from the start, may kulang pa rin, “Consistency” ang kulang. Siguro nagtataka kayo, achiever na nga every quarter, hindi pa ba “consistent” ‘yon? Well, that is not my definition of consistency. Technically, they managed to be on the list consistently, but they were not consistent with their performance and attitude. So we worked it out and they tried improving. Ilan beses kong napagsabihan at napagalitan na tila mga magulang nila. I wish Tita Jeck and Tita Glecy could see how their sons strived to make me proud, to make them be proud of themselves, and of course, to make you, their parents, proud of their improvements and achievements! (Abutin ng ala-una sa pagrereview sa aming bahay, hindi matulog para tapusin ang project na ipapasa kinumagahan, mapagalitan kasi late nang umuwi, nagutom, humapdi ang mga mata, sumakit ang ulo at marami pang sakripisyo)

Everyone was asking me, “anong pakiramdam?” Someone told me, “Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo ngayon, PARA KANG TATAY NA PROUD NA PROUD SA KANILA DIBA!” That person was right. I might be the proudest, not because it was me behind their success, I was only a part of it after all, but because of THEM who succeeded! I know for a fact that they are deserving. You are all deserving! Why did I share our history? I want you to get inspired. Why did I share their story? I want you to know how they made it. I am not only sharing this to my class, but also to every student listening right now. If you’re going to ask how they did it or how I did it or what’s their secret or my secret, all I can advise you is to –NEVER GIVE UP!           

            “If they can, you can!” They have proved to me that nothing is really impossible. “Impossible” is only a word for the weak, for those who don’t have clear goals on their minds, and for the people who have no HOPE. They also proved to me that change is really achievable. They did change and improved greatly. As I always tell them: “my words of wisdom are only my beliefs and principle, everything is always up to you”. It is our choice, for we have the key to our future! They both taught me, “If you want to reach your goal, you must be willing to really reach it.” If you’re thinking that you also need someone like me to guide you, be that someone! Guide yourself as you take yourself to a better path and a brighter future. Have someone you know who will lift you up, who will never let you down, who will help you to be someone who you wanted to be. Surround yourself with people who have the same mission as you. Lastly, always remember to believe in yourself that you can do it, trust yourself that you will make it, and be confident that you’ll succeed!

I have written something for my classmates. May I request Sir Myrold to distribute the letters to the class. It is a letter of gratitude where I also shared my lessons in life and included my words of wisdom. –Thank you, Sir Myrold! Kindly open and get the letter inside. Look at the bottom of the page, what is it? Read it aloud: “Aim the highest and Never give up”

Madalas sabihin sa’min ni Tr. Glo, “kung gagawa ka nalang din, pagbutihan mo na”. That has always been her mantra every time she’s about to give us some advice. I learned, that’s why I always give my best shot. “Don’t settle for anything less than your best” as what the quote say. I am saying these things to you for I have learned and wished to share my secret to inspire people, to convince you, students, that you are MORE than what other people think you are and that you can still do better. Let’s give ourselves a round of applause because we have become better than we were before.

            Panahon ng palaging puyat hanggang sa wala nang tulog, ilang tasang kape  ang natimpla at ilang bote ng Kopiko 78° ang nabili, mga ballpen na nawala, umuwi ng gabi dahil sa project at shooting, nagkapasok ng sabado at linggo na tila 7 days ang pagpasok upang tapusin ang dapat tapusin.Panahon na ang pakiramdam habang sinasagutan mo palang yung test paper ay kakabahan ka na sa resulta, sumubok, umaasa, nasaktan, bumangon, at naging matatag, natutong magtipid at huwag kumain para lang may ipang bayad sa mga gastusin at mga contribution na dapat punan, mga hugot lines na naipasok may masabi lang sa isang bagay o sitwasyon.
            Panahon ng mga makikinis ang muka na biglang nagkapimples, naghanap ng mga test papers kasi requirement, isakripisyo ang kaligayahan at oras para may masimulan at matapos, na-stress at na-depress at the same time, sinubukan reviewhin ang isang buong quarter ng isang gabi, umidlip nang sandali dahil mahadpi ang mata, nag-alarm kaso hindi nagising.
            Panahon na sumakit ang ulo at gusto mo nalang matulog maghapon, kaso hindi pwede, nagcramming dahil sabay sabay ang projects, kung hindi man sabay sabay inannounce, e’ magkakakadikit naman ang deadline, halos na-late araw-araw kasi 2 hours lang ang tulog noong gabi, hindi nabigyan ng pantay na atensyon ang mga proyekto.
            Panahon na mawawala ka sa wisyo, nawala ang sarili, at maging lutang na pati barber shop ng teacher mo, naitanong mo. Wala ka pang nasisimulan at nagawa mo pang mag-tweet ng nararamdaman mo, mag-post sa Instagram ng ginagawa mo, at mag-like sa facebook ng mga astig na recipe, movie trailers, prank videos, music covers, do it yourself videos, at mga mala tele-seryeng exchange of conversations.

        
    Ito yung mga panahon na hindi mo malilimutan. Times like these are tiring yet remarkable, exhausting but unforgettable. Actually, wala pa siguro ang mga ito sa mararanasan namin pagdating ng Senior High School, pagdating ng College, at lalo na pagdating sa totoong hamon ng buhay. Subalit nagpapasalamat pa rin kami nang lubos sa mga taong naging bahagi ng isang malaking yugto ng aming buhay.

            To the people who tirelessly speak their wisdom in front, who made sure that each lesson was reviewed before discussing it, who put their attention to every student’s performance, who took years to study their field, who sacrificed a lot and cried a lot, who were concerned with their children’s performance, who were happy for the achievements of their students, who were sad for their students’ shortcomings, who diligently record and compute our grades, who have countless  sleepless nights to make our exams, who suffered from headaches and stress,… to the people who we called our TEACHERS, on behalf of the class and all of the students, THANK YOU! We are more than grateful for everything you have done for us. Let me show our gratitude by simply saying, “Thank you, teacher! I hope we made you proud!”  Let’s give our hardworking teachers a big round of applause!

            To the place where we first learn to communicate and to interact with other people, where we met our favorite teachers, where we started to build relation with our classmates, where we had our closest friends, where we learned to wait for our turn, where we waited a long line just to gain permit, where we learned, where we failed, where we succeeded, where we had our memorable moments, where we experienced different events, where our unforgettable occasions took place, where we had our crush and fell in love, where we have violated rules intentionally and unintentionally, and where we learned to obey at the same time, where we have developed ourselves and known who we are, where we met the people who have destroyed and created us, where we become who we are today, … to our school, to this school, to my alma mater, THANK YOU! (It is a privilege to study here and we are very grateful that this school was built.)

            To the people who we shared our personal stories, who were there to hear us out, who we have laughed and cried with, who we have shared our foods and hid it sometimes, who were there to listen to our nonsense rants and sentiments, who were happy for our happiness and sad for our sadness, who have joined us to our personal trips and gimmicks, who we could lean on in times of troubles, who were with us through our problems and bore with us with our dramas in life, who had their debt that wasn’t paid until now, who have known our different sides and moods, who were sometimes our competition, enemy, motivation, rival, and companion, who we loved and have loved us, … to the people who we called friends, THANK YOU! I am lucky to have pals in the TRIO, to have true friends in the class, to have good friends outside the room, and to have a best friend or two. You are lucky enough to find a real one and if you do, make sure to treasure that person! Again, let’s thank our dearest friends and companions for they have helped us to become who we are today by giving them a warm round of applause.

            To the people who gave us the gift of life, who have given us our needs and wants, who have supported us and have pushed us to do things, who have taught us and disciplined us, who were there when no one was, who we have learned our first lessons and different morals, who are the biggest part of our life, who have educated, helped, and assisted us in life, who we got knowledge and wisdom, who cultured our attitude, who developed us and guided us to the right path, who told us that we’re taking the wrong way and that we should do this and that, … to the people we called family, THANK YOU! To our parents who are the first and greatest teachers in our lives that taught us well, to our siblings who became our very first friends that helped us, to our relatives who have assisted and supported us, and to our home that became our first school that provided us shelter and safety, a THANK YOU is not enough to fully expressed our gratefulness and love to you all. May we give our family a big round of applause.

            To the person who has always been the greatest believer of himself, who has endured a lot of pain and sufferings, and who have experienced fantastic adventures, to the person responsible for his triumph and failure, who has the key for his future and the will to be better, and who always gives himself something to fight for, to the person who gets tired and reaches to the point of giving up, who tries to cheer himself up and be motivated, and who makes himself proud of himself, to the person who just completed the junior high school, who finished his clearance, and who is working hard for his future, to the person who taught himself to change, to improve, and to fight, who did his best to reach his goal, and who didn’t stop reaching his goal after many failures, … to the person who is listening to my speech right now, who has the same attire as mine, and who has been from a rough and bumpy ride to be here tonight, yes… YOU! Thank you to yourself! Thank you to your very own self who have survived this journey! Give yourself a big round of applause as you deserved to be applauded! Be proud of yourself and say “I did it!”

            (Patapos na po ako, sandali lang po!)

            There are certain people in your life who made a great impact on you and I wish to grab this opportunity to mention those people who truly touched my life. I want to thank my advisers in high school: To Sir Andrew, my grade 7 adviser, if you are hearing me tonight, I thank you as you are the first person who taught that I could lead other people; thank you very much and I hope you still remember the deal we have made, I am looking forward to it since I accomplished what you asked for. To Teacher Daisy, my grade 8 adviser, you taught me to be independent. I thank you as you got me inspired by your disposition as a teacher; thank you very much. To Teacher Tin, my grade 9 adviser, I thank you as you taught me not to change for the convenience of others but for the convenience of myself and to be mindful of my words and actions; thank you very much. And to Sir Myrold, my itay this year, I can’t put into words how you really touched my life. Thank you very much for I have learned well from you. I wanted to say more tonight so I just made a letter for you. Thank you, Sir Myrold; I hope I made you proud! To teacher Justine who is my teacher, my friend, my second adviser, and my confidante, thank you very much for being one of the rare people who could understand me and accept me as I am. To my classmates, who are expecting to be mentioned tonight, Renz, John Love, Joshua, Jopoy, Jerome, Moy, Sean, Ryan, Jd, Ninfa, Jolina, Apple, Mariah, Faith, Jastin, Kristine, Hanna, Lyka, Jarem, Marien, Gel, Paula, Syrel, and Alina, thank you guys! (Nasa letter ko na siguro yung mga gusto niyong marinig, basahin niyo nalang mamaya pagka-uwi niyo at makining muna kayo sa’kin) To my other friends, Gabby and King, Enja and Pat, thank you for I have learned from you! To Teacher Glo, maraming maraming salamat po! 

            I would never end this speech without including: this is only a new beginning! Yes, as we end something tonight, a new journey awaits us. This is the beginning of another self-discovery, of another big change, of nonstop improvements, of impending lessons to learn, of inevitable mistakes not to commit again once committed, of a new road, and of a different yet similar goal.

            The feeling I am feeling right now is the same feeling I felt when I first stepped in this school: nakakakaba, nakakagalak, …  nakakakaba… nakakagalak. It was somehow scary to step not knowing the classmates you will meet, not knowing the teachers you will greet, and not knowing how to start interacting with them. It was somehow joyful as you get to know your classmates, as you get to know your teachers, and as you get to know how to interact with them. In every opening of every school year, that was the feeling I always feel as I enter the room. Even I already know whose inside and who the new teachers are, I get the same feeling again and again. As the school year starts and passes by, I have always been happy to be with them again, to be in the same room as they, to have the same teacher, and to be with my friends every day. But the feeling I always feel every the school year ends is the exact feeling I am feeling right now.

            Rehearsals are over; pictorial was taken. Clearance was submitted; all grades are computed.  Now, this is the last time we will wear this uniform; but not actually my last if I were to stay for grade 11. This might be the last time we will see our favorite teachers, I hope we will see you around after this. Tonight is an ending but paradoxically is a new beginning. Tonight is the fruit of our perseverance, late night studies, lack of sleep, and sacrifice of enjoyment, of our mistakes, wounds, and tears. We are the generation that the last generation has told. I hope we contribute our pure intents to our nation, to honor this school and our beloved parents. I wish we all aim not only to be successful but to be happily successful in life. Once again, thank you, teachers, thank you to this school and to its administration, thank you for our dearest friends, thank you for our beloved family, and thank you Lord for making all of these possible.  

            I am Ace Meelan M. Balbarez, one of the first completers of the curriculum, expressing my gratitude to all people who have been a great part of my life. I spent 11 years of my life studying here in this school and within those years, I can really say that there is JOY in LEARNING! Thank you for listening and once again good evening!

ACE MEELAN M. BALBAREZ
FIRST HONORS

GRADE 10 CLASS OF 2016