The Boy Who Stutters

I started to feel something I wasn’t supposed to feel. I thought being with you is enough for me to be at peace, but why is it that I am starting to feel the contrary. Why are my emotions at war towards you? I know I wasn’t supposed to feel this, yet I think about it now. Is what I feel reasonable? Can it be? Should it be reasonable?  You stayed, he let you. However, I come to realize that your stay here is being counterproductive. I prove it as more days have gone by. It saddens me actually. I couldn’t accept the fact that you remain low, and think lowly. You act as if you are secured, but we both know you aren’t. I would like to think that your behavior means something. I wish it’s only your way to ease the pain. I wish that’s your way of dealing with your miserable life.  I hate to think that way, but I do. I would want to excuse you, but it just happens that I cannot. I cannot excuse you with your indolent attitude; it is unacceptable. I will not excuse you with...

Walang Pamagat Sinimulan kong magsulat para sayo Hindi ko alam kung kailang ‘to hihinto Mga salita na galing sa puso’t isipan Ang aking pag-ibig ay hindi na matatakpan Isang tulang nagbabakasakaling maging kanta Isang saknong na umabot sa ikalawa Isang tibok ang aking nadama Sa isang taong aking nakilala Ika’y nakatabi sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon Nabihag ako at kinuha ang aking atensyon Ano itong nadarama? Hindi ko alam, pag-ibig na nga ba? Mag-intay sa tamang pagkakataon Mamahalin ka anumang kondisyon Hindi magsasawa, hindi ka sasaktan Magiging tapat, at iyong iyo lamang! TBWS January 17, 2016 This was published in  Utot Catalog  on May 11, 2016. 

It’s been days… weeks actually. It has been weeks since the day I discovered, and I shall expect more weeks to pass before I recover. I am yet to accept the choice you made. I am yet to accept your decision. I am yet to suffer –a little longer.  As days and nights have passed, I admit that there were a few breakdowns. Even simple things could trigger me and I couldn’t help but be emotional. I’m not saying this to get your sympathy… because I don’t actually need it. Because even I manage to, will you do something about it? Will you make things right?  I expect you to make things right, and I would want to hope that you’re trying to. I will keep hoping and I will keep being disappointed if you fail. It’s okay though, at least you tried. Maybe I just have to be grateful and accept what you are willing to do. Maybe I just have to appreciate what you can do for us. Maybe I should be content with what we have now and not ask for more. Perhaps that’s the only way we can be a...

They say, “Youth is the key to success”. What if the youth is the hindrance to progress? Nowadays, everyone is unconsciously contributing to the destruction of our environment. Admit it or not, we have done at least a single simple action we didn’t know that could lead to unexpected and complicated results. Everyone, including teenagers, has already tried to throw trashes on the road, to put garbage anywhere, and to produce waste unintentionally. These considerable small deeds could possibly lead to bigger hazardous events. Plague in the society, pollution, infectious diseases, unwanted surroundings, and undesirable environment are only some of the results that have great chances to emerge if we, the youth, wouldn’t make a difference from the actions we’ve done and activities we’re constantly doing.  Youth should be a part of the solution, not part of the pollution.  Youth should not be the destructor of our tomorrow, instead we should be the better creator of our future!...

The One You had your feelings, like a lover And you have waited, until it’s proper And for some reasons, you have loved her Thinking madly, you wanted deeper. She’s the star in your universe Your feelings cannot be reversed You’re the fuel and she’s the spark She always gives you light in the dark She’s the one who lights up your world She’s the one who keeps up your soul She’s the one who makes up your life She’s the one, she’s the one, she's -the one… Another lyric poem I've written some time in January 2016. If you liked this, check out  Lured by You ! - TBWS January 16, 2016

Have you felt being pressured so much? To the extent that you don't know what to do anymore? You might have something in mind that you really wanted to do or wished to be done, but it is not that feasible. You would, but you could not. So at the end of the day, you'll be lying on your bed, staring at your plain ceiling and asking yourself over and over again, "what am I going to do with my life?" "This is what I wanted to do with my life but how am I supposed to do it? Where should I start?"  Somehow, you are hopeless and hopeful at the same time. Ironic, right? You keep on wishing and hoping that it will happen someday, at the right time. But all you can do and think for now is that you are a hopeless person wishing for a miracle to happen.  There comes a point when you are really determined with a certain plan or idea, but then again, something or someone will ruin it at the best of times. But sometimes, it is yourself who trouble yourself in...

You are only a punctuation. You are only used to signify a word, a phrase, or a sentence. You are only used to fill the gap. You are only optional . You are only one of a pair of marks. You are only useful if you get along. You are only used by choice , and not as a necessity. You are only an option. You are usually set aside. You are usually ignored – unread. You don’t matter like the subject. You only matter when you are missed. But yeah, you are still a part of the sentence, a part of the thought. You still play your role. You still serve your purpose And – you are still there. You surround words. You make them special . You seclude what’s yours. Or at least that's your role. You were the priority – for an expression. You are the rule that is misunderstood. You came first – only when you’re present. You’re not the priority , however, when you’re not. Yes, you are one of a pair of marks. You are not only used to su...

As I felt your presence, I looked out to the window to see if you were there, and right, you were there. You entered the room and stepped towards me. I welcomed you with open arms and you let me embrace your body. I missed you, that’s one thing for sure.  For a bit, I was glad that you were here not only for me but for us. I was happy that you’re back and then you brought something, something I never wished. You told me something I never wanted to hear. You spoke of something I never expected to know. You shared something I never wished to learn. In spite of that, I am thankful.  I had a dream, a nightmare, I could say. I didn’t consider it as a nightmare at first since I used to have absurd dreams before which made no sense at all until I had this one and heard your revelation. It happens that my dream was true after all. It’s not true “true” since it’s just a dream, but its idea is. What I dreamt was true and I got a confirmation from you that it happened, or was ha...

My cousin has interviewed me for her assignment.  1. Can you give me some background information about yourself? I am Ace Meelan M. Balbarez, 14 yrs. Old. I am the valedictorian of my class when I graduated elementary. Right now, I am a grade 9 student at JILS. I am also the current vice president of our Student Council.  When I was a kid, I stutter a lot, but now, I can manage and control it and that’s why I always work hard in school. When I was grade 4, I tried my best to become the top in class and I succeeded. I have two siblings. My brother is now in college while my younger sister is still in preschool. I am a moody person, sensitive, friendly, open minded and quite smart. 2. Based on my research, you always ranked first in your class in five consecutive years, is that right? Can you tell me how did you it? That’s right. From 4th grade until 8th grade I always ranked first in my class and I have a reputation to keep (hahahaha just jokin...

I learned to take 20 seconds of courage to do something. It works; every time I feel unsure and I lack strength, I’m going to count 20 seconds before having courage to do it.  The thing that I have observed from people is that they lack courage. Most people are not courageous enough to do what they want, to speak what they wish, and to take what they need. Does not having courage show cowardice? If it does, then we are all cowards.  We are likely to miss the chance because we don’t have the courage to take it. We are likely to miss the opportunities because we are not courageous enough to seize it. That’s the thing about us, we are more likely to regret the things we didn’t do over the things we did. Why? It is simply because we didn’t take the courage we need to do things.  Do you know what we lack? It’s the will to do something. We lack it, that’s why we miss things. At the end of the day, we blame ourselves. “Why didn’t I do this and that?” “Did I just ...