5 years in UP

Friday, July 31, 2026

[Read this Facebook post as prologue]

Five years in UP

Unlike the cliché of ending your college journey on a random day, mine ended with a typhoon—shoes soaked in mud, umbrellas flipping their ribs against the weather, for a 5-minute commencement exercise. Yup! That was our batch, class of 2023. Unlike so many great films, the graduation was so anti-climactic. But I dare say it’s still cinematic. A tragic one, that is. Our journeys may have ended too quickly due to the downpour on the morning of July 30; that personally makes it more memorable, for better or worse.

Of course, I wish my grandmother did not have to suffer from her arthritis while struggling through the mud, and I wish my family had fully experienced a proper graduation program at the premier university of the country. If anything, what matters is that I did graduate. I finally earned a bachelor's degree in film. After 5 years. I would not "receive" my Latin honors after 2 years, in 2025, through a formal appeal and lots of patience in waiting for a resolution.

I wish my parents were able to pin the medal on me during the college ceremony. If anything, they were able to shake hands with Jessica Soho who was the guest speaker. Again, what matters is that I made it as magna cum laude, albeit later. I would have made it to summa if it were not for a couple of courses that gave me dos. Hahaha. But I have made my peace about that already.

University graduation

College graduation

Writing this now in 2026 just brings back my writing style for this series or the whole blog in general—with naivety and vanity that others would mistake for arrogance, and I would not blame them as I would agree with them today. Truth is…the world truly humbles you after school. I thought UP already humbled me when I entered it in 2018. I suppose the world never stops humbling you with reality. But let me save this realization for later and take you down memory lane with me as I recollect my journey in film school.

[This is not just a long overdue graduation essay. This is also the final blog entry dedicated to the hundreds of view(er)s of the past 7 entries.] *If you're a first-time reader here, I used to share snippets of the classes I took for the semester. I'm keeping the tradition but feel free to jump sections for other ganaps :))

Let me organize this blog as usual but in reverse chronological order (recent to old)

FILM 198 INTERNSHIP (MY-AY21-22)
FILM 199 THESIS PROPOSAL (1S-AY22-23)
FILM 200 THESIS (2S-AY22-23)

I knew I wanted to make a film about myself—about someone who stutters. In hindsight, it’s a vanity project pala. True, but my thesis statement would be about media representation of people with speech disorders. I did not grow up knowing people who speak the way I do. I did not even know the English word for “utal” or “bulol magsalita” was to stutter until high school. So back in 2018, freshman year, I knew I wanted to make a film about myself. Perhaps with the typical conception of art is self-expression.

Film school happened, then I did my internship (Film 198) at Mayday Multimedia in 2022 that opened my eyes to the labor movement in our country. It taught me about labor rights and labor conditions that the film school did not normally include in its curriculum. That’s when I began developing my thesis film more seriously. During an archiving session of what would become the Philippine Labor Movement Archive (PLMA), I touched upon donated photographs featuring the labor movement during the martial law years and saw similar placards that are still being held up to this day—50 years after the dictatorship.

Our nation is still fighting the same fight for justice and equality, struggling with the same social, political, and economic ills of poverty, corruption, impunity, and human rights violations. The Filipino people have elected the dictator’s son. History indeed seems to be repeating itself.

INTERNSHIP AT PLMA—25 AUGUST 2022

EDSA @ 37—25 FEBRUARY 2023

UPTG PRESSCON AT UP CFA—04 MARCH 2023

I formally developed my film concept as a thesis proposal in Film 199. Every week, our professor would make us pitch our concepts. You could notice the “development” in ideas, in confidence, and even sudden changes in concept as to go back to square one. The reality is that not every student has a thesis concept ready by the time they take the course, and so some improvise until they nail it. And just because you are classmates in Film 199 does not mean you will take and finish Film 200 at the same time.

Remarkably, this class conducted one of its face-to-face (F2F) sessions in the University Hotel, where the professor bought us meals. Yay for free food! Only to pitch our concepts again before everybody.

Early that year, jeepney drivers were on strike again—like they did five decades ago—protesting against the government's lack of genuine support. While the main plight 50 years ago was the oil price increase, this time it was about phasing out jeepneys for the sake of the modernization program.

I saw the parallelism happening before my eyes. But how can I stitch history with the present day? That’s when the treatment of time travel came in. I have always loved science fiction, but obviously, I had to work around reality and make it work. To cut a long story short (though you can read the whole process if you’re interested in my thesis manuscript available publicly in the library, or message me so I can send a soft copy), we produced a political time-travel drama with a synopsis of:

Indigo, a stuttering college student, finds a magic cubicle that transports him back in time. Upon abusing this power to improve his speech condition, Indigo gets lost in time and experiences the history of student activism in the university from the 2000s to the 1970s. With the country's present political situation of profound state propaganda that obscured and distorted the truth, this film aims to rediscover and reclaim a narrative in our history. Indigo wishes the audience to remember the forgotten past that should haunt our present generation.

And the rest was history!

My thesis film was one of the grantees of the inaugural Film Development Council of the Philippines (FDCP) Student Film Assistance Program (SFAP) 2023 Cycle 1, where I received PHP 45,000 to fund the film production. I got to meet the actor Tirso Cruz, who was the head of the agency at the time.

Indigo would enjoy several screenings and recognition, both locally and internationally:

LOCAL

Official Selection | 15th Pandayang Lino Brocka (NCR)
Official Selection | 11th Active Vista Human Rights Festival (NCR)
Official Selection | Pelikultura: The CALABARZON Film Festival 2023 (Laguna)
Official Selection | Kultura Film Festival 2023 (Tuguegarao)
Official Finalist | Sinepiyu 16 Ligaw: Paglibot sa Kawalan (NCR)
Best Direction
2nd Best Narrative Film
Official Selection | Ngilngig Asian Fantastic Film Festival - Davao (NgAFFF) 2024 (Davao)
Official Selection | Bakunawa Fest XI (NCR)

INTERNATIONAL

Official Selection | 15th Kota Kinabalu International Film Festival (Malaysia)
Official Selection | 2024 Las Vegas Filipino Short Film Festival (United States)
Best Editing Nominee

OTHER RECOGNITION

Shortlisted for Best Short Film - Live Action | 4th Pinoy Rebyu Awards
Best Short Film Nominee | 72nd Filipino Academy of Movie Arts and Sciences (FAMAS) Awards

[List not exhaustive]

I will finally make the short film publicly available in September 2026 to celebrate its third anniversary and to commemorate martial law. (You learn this announcement first here! Follow Indigo's Facebook page)

I would love to talk more about my experiences in FILM 198, 199, and 200, but I have a lot to cover for this final blog. I have already detailed my thesis journey in my manuscript, and I don’t wish to take more space here than necessary for the same pain—journey, rather.

FDCP head and actor Tirso Cruz announcing the finalists—2023

Photo with actor Rolando Inocencio, cast of Indigo, during thesis defense—June 2023

Photo with Cinemaster crew of Indigo after thesis defense—June 2023

72nd FAMAS Awards

FILM 196 SPECIAL TOPICS (1S-AY22-23) MARTIAL LAW AND PINOY CINEMA, NOON AT NGAYON

This is a film elective that dives into what its course title says. I’m just going to share the final output we had for this class. Before watching the video, here’s a project statement that my partner (Justine G.) and I came up with:

“Golden Years” (2022)

In the age of post-truth, perception becomes fact.
In the age of digital age, information is everywhere.
In the age of another Marcos administration, myth becomes reality.

This project aims to critique the mythical notions of the Marcos regime that are still held by loyalists until today by portraying the popular views on the said controversial subject. It is a mockumentary in form to satirize the grand narratives propagated by the regime by contrasting the “perception” with the “truth”.

The research process entailed exploring online content; thus, the filmmakers discovered numerous false Martial Law narratives across a number of platforms that they sought to debunk. To disprove these false claims, the filmmakers consulted with information from reputable local news and fact-checking organizations.

The project was initially inspired by mockumentaries and political satire with interviews of characters with different backgrounds, such as the Netflix film Death to 2020 by Charlie Brooker and Annabel Jones (2020), as well as YouTube vlogs, especially those of Ferdinand Marcos Jr.’s “BBM Vlogs” and those whose content was primarily street interviews, which is how the project’s vlog style came to be.

The production of the project had the Filipino youth in mind. In order to engage the audience, the video included elements of today’s internet culture such as memes, TikTok clips, and various social media posts. By using familiar aesthetics or popular audio-visual language in social media, the filmmakers aim to embrace, if not repurpose, its capacity for mass communication, which has been used to pursue a certain propaganda.

WATCH HERE (For your eyes only; do not share)

FILM 180 FILM SEMINAR (1S-AY22-23) MOVING IMAGES IN CRUCIAL TIMES

Another film elective with course description: “Critical study around moving images in and on crucial times.” The UPFI curriculum brochure would describe this course as “issues and perspectives in film, with emphasis on the Philippine context.”

True enough, we tackled different zeitgeists: from colonialism and world wars to post-structuralism and martial law that formed and informed different social movements that impact the moving images or cinema.

There were a lot of activities here, weekly output, to be exact, that discussed the intersectionality of cinema with different events in our history.

What’s memorable from this class is the flexibility of the type of output students can submit: either a critical essay or 1-2 minute moving image (a video) about the topic of the week. The flexibility may be due to the remote learning setup for this semester, or the professor has really set his syllabus in such a style as reflected the same in his other courses (Film176).

Here are some shareable outputs I had for this class.

Week 3: On Colonial Cinema

Week 5: On Cinema and Dadaism

Week 6: ANG TATSULOK (2022) | Experimental Short Film

Week 7: On Cinema and Poverty | Agarrando Pueblo (1977) Film Analysis

SOCIO 101 GENERAL SOCIOLOGY (1S-AY22-23)

I used my free elective units to take a sociology course. What’s memorable from this class is its setup of being almost entirely asynchronous! We just had paper submissions and the modules were uploaded accordingly in the online drive. It’s like a weekly podcast that we can listen to anytime. The professor has recorded his audio teaching the PowerPoint slides that we simultaneously navigate through.

Reviewing its syllabus, I’m just reminded of the compassion that educators showed during the pandemic:

“In light of the difficulties brought about by the pandemic, deadlines for submission of requirements will be as forgiving as possible. Students are allowed to negotiate deadlines with the professor.”

Taking this course in my final year would reinforce, break, and build my political beliefs further as we were introduced to different sociological theorists such as Auguste Comte, Emile Durkheim, Karl Marx, and Max Weber. Information overloaded indeed. I am yet to sort the “response papers” I wrote for this class and might upload them for archiving purposes.

PE 2 WALKING FOR FITNESS (1S-AY22-23)

My fourth and final PE units. This is the second non-Filipino professor I had; I’m not sure what nationality or race (I just don’t know how to be politically correct in saying that he’s black).

This was my Strava era. We had to submit weekly journals of our walk. I learned there are different types of walking: easy, brisk, power. We were partly graded by mileage, so it’s literally walk for your grades!

Worth to mention that taking this class during a pandemic meant wearing masks during your walks. It’s 2022 and remote classes were still a thing as we embraced the hybrid setup for learning.

Walking journal entry

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So that was AY 2022-2023, my final and fifth year in UP where we almost returned back to normal after the pandemic, embracing a hybrid learning setup: remote and F2F classes. The next section is my fourth year AY 2021-2022 and it was purely online if I remember correctly.

SECOND SEMESTER AY 2021-2022

FILM 134 ANIMATION

“History, Aesthetics, Critical Study and Production Techniques of Animation” says its course description. This is another film elective I took during the pandemic and one of the most challenging film courses I ever had. The class required heavy outputs: from 24 frames to 48, then 96 to 360 frames. The midterm project was to produce a 30-second animated short, while the final project was at least 60 seconds (or 1440 frames!)

Drawing was never my forte so I’m not proud with the quality of my output. Obviously, as this course taught me, there are different forms of animation and not just drawing every individual frame.

I wasn’t able to finish the class reqs on time and had to opt for INC. What I’m proud of is I’m able to complete the requirements eventually. If anything, this course just made me appreciate animation more.

Behind-the-scenes proof

FILM 157 FILM SOUND AND MUSIC SCORING

I have nothing good to say about this class, so I’d rather keep this short. The professor was infamous already in the department, but students had no choice at the time because there were no other classes to enroll in but his. To paint a picture, students would rather be delayed waiting for another semester (hoping for a different prof) than take the course under him.

I think there are new practitioners now who have replaced him because it was really a waste of time, if not the nation’s taxes, to not learn anything about sound. I don’t know about his history or life as to why he teaches the way he does, if he even calls that teaching, or why the department got him in the first place.

I was accused of cheating or plagiarism because I put my references in my answers. I didn’t know research was not allowed for a “take-home quiz” (the class was synchronous, online, and remote). I would not have had to research if only I had learned things from him and knew how to answer the quiz. In my defense, I thought the essence of the activity was for us to research the topics and not a diagnostic test of what we know or don’t know. Though it was a lesson learned for me, we definitely had poor communication to begin with.

In hindsight, I might be able to get a pass if only I hadn’t cited my sources like my classmates who pretend they were learning a thing. LOL!

J101 INTRODUCTION TO JOURNALISM

I had this class under another prof of old age like that sound prof. Not to be ageist, but this semester had me dealing with such senile educators (4 out of 6 profs this semester). Having robust credentials and being the best in their prime time are one thing, but teaching their expertise is another. Despite bad reviews, I suppose being tenured truly keeps their job. That’s another facet of academic freedom, isn’t it?

Fortunately, the course was indeed 101, the basics of understanding journalism. Although film students are not required to take this and I only took it as a free elective, I felt I would not be a true maskom student if I did not take any journ classes. (The program of BA Film is under the College of Mass Communication—also offering degree programs on Broadcast Communication, Journalism, and Communication Research.)

As expected, it was a writing and research and reporting class. One output I wrote is a film review of Love is Colorblind (2021) that starred DonBelle, just to connect to my roots of being a film student.

PSYCH 108 SIKOLOHIYANG PILIPINO

I had to take Psych 101 first as a prereq before I was able to take this 108 course. It was so refreshing to have Filipino as the language of instruction in class, in its syllabus, and by the instructor. The course was held as a hybrid of asynchronous and synchronous meetings. A course pack was given, with video lectures and readings necessary to accomplish the syllabus. Another compassionate teacher of humanities:

“Asynchronous ang pangunahing set-up na aking napili upang mabigyan kayo ng kalayaang mag-aral nang naayon sa inyong oras. Ito ay dahil sa maraming mga salik ang maaring makaapekto sa inyong pagkatuto bunga ng mga responsibilidad sa inyong tahanan, at/o kalidad ng access sa Internet.”

My main takeaways from this class are the concepts of pakikipagkapwa and Weltanschauung (or worldview).

PE 1 FOUNDATIONS OF PHYSICAL FITNESS

In UP Diliman, there are two types of PE classes or courses: PE 1 and PE 2 (or specialized physical activities) or basically lecture vs. sports. All UP undergraduates must complete 8 units of PE, which means taking 4 PE courses before graduation. This is my first PE 1 and my third PE class.

I learned about body composition, nutrition, and different concepts of fitness. It may seem elementary, but the PH constitution is actually right to mandate that schools still integrate physical education. It is as essential as sharpening our minds. Personally, it served as a reminder of the importance of overall health and well-being. I still learned new things from this class though!

CWTS 2 CIVIC WELFARE TRAINING SERVICE
CWTS 1 CIVIC WELFARE TRAINING SERVICE

Like PE, we are required to take 6 units of National Service Training Program (NSTP). CWTS is one of its components; the other being ROTC and LTS.

For some reason (likely due to a lack of other options at the time in CRS), I found myself taking the offering from the College of Engineering. In hindsight, it was a mistake because the professor handling the course seemed to be a right-wing nationalist whose course requirements included watching documentaries made by the state forces and writing a review about them.

KONEKTADO (2021) FILM REVIEW
SILA’NG NAGPAHUGMAK SA MGA JUAN UG MARIA (2020) FILM REVIEW

I took the CWTS 1 in the first semester and later wanted to take the second course from another college or under a different professor but apparently, there’s a project continuity. I kept enrolled for CWTS 2 in the second semester; I thought transferring was not worth the trouble and I’d just get over it.

I was already taking the class passively until the professor made a comment towards me before the class—asking how I felt about the national news of Chad Booc’s passing, an alumnus of the College of Engineering. I don’t know Chad personally, but I know his advocacy for the Lumads. I surmised the professor grasped my political inclinations from the papers I submitted, criticizing the right-wing documentaries he’s been promoting not so subtly. But to single me out in the class, I might as well be the most vocal about my disagreement with my professor’s politics, at least in writing.

The main project was to help contribute to the production of a portable radio to be donated to indigenous people—or at least that’s what my memory serves me. It was supposed to be assembling a DIY radio, and we would send it to the campus/to him; then he would process the logistics of sending our outputs to Mindanao through his contacts in the military. And since there are non-engineering students like me in his class who are unfamiliar with the radio components (which were part of the syllabus for the semester) and living across the country, we ended up “donating” money to buy the DIY kit and have it assembled by other classes (or volunteers in the area—I can’t really recall).

FIRST SEMESTER AY 2021-2022

FILM 176 FILM AND THE OTHER ARTS

Another film elective that dives into the intersection between cinema and other arts, namely: visual art, architecture, decorative arts, literature, performing arts, and media arts or new media. This was a fun class. The weekly output must be inspired by the type of art being discussed, so it was a sandbox for creatives.

Here are a couple of outputs I can share:

Week 5 – Decorative Arts

Week 6 – Production Design

FILM 178 QUEER CINEMA

Another film elective I took. The class was as fantastic as the legendary professor. Let me share my final paper for this class: Bound to the Body: Mamu (and a mother too) 2018 Film Analysis

PHILARTS 1 PHILIPPINE ARTS AND CULTURE

I think this is one of my favorite courses, a free elective that I took during the pandemic. I got exposed to the richness of our own arts and how it enriches our culture. Though it is output-heavy—a consequence of the online learning setup to compensate for an actual classroom experience—the way the course is outlined, taught, let alone the in/credible professor, was just so motivating and engaging. Perhaps my interest in the subjects or content of her syllabus helped me get by through the semester.

I’m still undecided whether to share my output in class. I guess you’ll see it if/when I upload them.

PSYCH 101 INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY

I took this as a free elective course with the purpose of learning more about people. I thought, if I will be a filmmaker who will write stories, I just need to understand psychology better to write better characters, right? Well, short answer: one semester is not enough. Hahahaha!

The syllabus is literally one 500+ page psychology book with all 14 chapters outlined throughout the semester. It seemed overwhelming but the professor obviously had used the same syllabus and tested its feasibility. We conducted synchronous meetings where she basically taught the concepts from each chapter, then we would hold a live quiz where she literally dictated each question twice and moved on. To stop the possibility of cheating in the remote setup, we would upload a picture of our paper with the answers (it’s multiple choice) within a given time, then she’d check virtually.

There were also weird activities from this psychology class like self-massaging and playing mobile games! Psychology is weird. We humans are weird! But I had fun learning.

SPAN 11

Span 11 is the next elementary course after Span 10 (which I took prior). UP undergrads are also required to take 6 units of language electives, any foreign language of our choice; that’s two classes. I chose Spanish primarily because I have relatives living in Spain. Wouldn’t it be nice to finally converse with them? But as of writing this now, I need to review everything I learned.

What’s memorable in this Spanish class is that it’s taught by a Spanish teacher too (as in a real Spaniard or how do you call people from Spain?). Indeed, writing in Spanish is not enough—surprise, surprise—you really have to speak the language to be able to speak it. Otherwise, nothing much is retained.

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Classes done! But this is only the beginning of an end.

APPEALING FOR LATIN HONORS

Reminiscing about the classes I took does not always render a positive feeling. I had 2 INCs during the pandemic and accepted that I would be delayed. I had to underload for the subsequent semesters because there were no more courses to take. This was also brought on by the units I took during the pandemic. There were semesters that I had to take 12 units or 15 units. My main reason was due to my health—as I apparently shared in detail in my previous entry—I suffered from pulmonary tuberculosis. Ideally, one should take at least 18 units per semester and finish the degree after 8 semesters or 4 years. So it was not a surprise that I would extend my stay at the university to complete all units prescribed by the curriculum, given my underloading.

I already prefaced how things would turn out. I did not exactly march as magna cum laude because I misunderstood the college memo about the appealing policy, so I missed the deadline (what a stupid mistake!). I won’t go into the technicalities of it all but I was able to appeal successfully with proper documentation (of underloading semesters), justification (medical reasons), and the right steps (offices to which the appeal letter shall be addressed) I undertook—let alone the confidence of having a 1.3488 GWA. It just took time (2 years lang naman) before I was able to exchange my first diploma for a new one with the sweet Latin honors under my name.

It’s like the final test of how much you're willing to fight for something you deserve.

UP CINEMA

This is my first organization in UP. I applied and got inducted as a Batch 28 member in 2019. I went to the applicant’s orientation with Redsh, my batchmate, who would be my “college wife” or so they say. We would become officers—with me being the President and her being the Executive Vice President years later.

UP Cinema was home to me. It’s where I would meet most of my friends, including El and some lovers. The three of us—me, redsh, & el—would build a friendship even after college. It was because of this org that I was able to produce my thesis. Indigo is composed of more than 40 Cinemasters (as we like to call ourselves) as cast and crew. All talented and curious. Some would reveal later that it’s their first prod, or at least that big of a scale, and that the experience or exposure opened more opportunities for them.

I suppose that's how organizations should work. I do not only mean building a network for professional purposes, but also real connections for the craft and beyond.

Before I became President, I was the Secretary-General heading the Secretariat #mabagSEC. I’m proud that during my terms, we were able to revise the 16-year-old constitution and update necessary provisions to reflect the times. It was an unfinished agenda from the previous terms and somehow, I took it as a personal challenge to make it finally happen. Perhaps as a gesture of gratitude for those who came before us, we made it possible during the pandemic to convene online, deliberate #ConRev and vote asynchronously. Not to mention, we were more or less a hundred active members at the time.

(In hindsight, it seems to be a sign of my tendency to “fix” things, create manuals as I would do in my first job and now in my second job as a copywriter.)

BATCH 28 FINAL RITES

SemEnder Party at Papi Oli / first face-to-face gathering after pandemic—August 2022

FOUR SHORT FILMS I PRODUCED—well, as of writing, I’ve produced 6!

Redsh and El lived together as roommates in Krus na Ligas, just on the outskirts of the campus. They liked dyeing their hair with different colors. I sported long hair in college. Inevitably, I would color my hair too and I did. You might be wondering now what the connection of this is to the topic at hand. Hahaha!

In one of our “salon” / coloring sessions, they shared their concepts for their directing class, which essentially became a pitch for me to become their producer.

Redsh, Mak (Redsh's real partner in life), El—circa 2022

Dogs Don’t Die, They Multiply by Redsh Alba (March 2023) and The Rats of the City by Elaissa Bautista (March 2023) are the first short films I “helped produce” — is how I initially expressed my contribution before embracing the “producer” label in the subsequent projects, mainly due to imposter syndrome and sheer inexperience. But having produced these two shorts just made me proud, for they are both “revolutionary” in their own right, at least for me, in the spaces they’ve been and how they were created. I hope you’ll know what I mean when you get to watch them. If anything, both films are mostly shot guerilla-style: we were shooed away in the original location for Dogs so we had to find an alternative area on the same night, while Rats totally risked shooting in various locations in the city as part of its original treatment.

Watch Dogs here. Watch Rats here.

I learned a lot from the experience and made me a better producer. I owe it to Redsh and El for being so understanding of my mistakes, shortcomings, and even my personality. Though I know we’re all learning in the process anyway, these two have more production experience than me, as they’ve worked in “real” productions —if not more—both student and professional. But this would be the genesis of my “producing” career if ever.

Dogs would win Jury prize in Black Beret, and Rats would have an impassioned following. Both would be showcased at various festivals and special screenings over the years. Both filmmakers would thrive especially in what they do best: Redsh in production design and El in cultural work and personal artistic pursuits.

If you’ve watched the link above or seen it somewhere, you can log them in your Letterboxd! 😉

Dogs BTS—the iconic city view

Rats BTS—the iconic bride in 711 scene

The third film I produced is my very own thesis, Indigo (June 2023), which I already mentioned earlier. Equipped with my prior experience from Dogs and Rats, I took the role because I would have to find another “me” to entrust the project with, or as my friends would imply. Redsh would be my production designer, and El the production manager. But since I was not crazy enough to produce it on my own and did not wish to ask more from my friends, I knew I would still need reinforcement. So I asked an orgmate, Koocha, to co-produce it with me. Although having a non-film background but interest in cinema, being an organization president in his college (like me) is enough for me to consider Koocha. Producing a project is an organizing job as it is a creative one after all.

Indigo BTS, directing actor Jeremy Mayores as Indigo—May 2023

Indigo BTS, directing actor Rolando Inocencio as Prof. Diego Ramos—May 2023

The fourth film is Mama by Alexandra Brizuela (January 2024) and the first documentary that I produced. Alex and I were classmates in Film 199, and we held onto our original concepts until production. We did not finish our thesis at the same time because documentaries commonly take time to produce. I finished first, and she would defend hers in the following semester. (Follow Mama Facebook page.)

Indigo and Mama were both FDCP SFAP grantees of the same inaugural cycle, and my experience with Indigo’s financials truly helped how I helped Alex with Mama’s. The documentary would be picked up by Cinemalaya and longlisted by Yugo BAFTA Student Awards (California, US). But more than these exposures, I’m proud of Mama for its narrative against Duterte’s drug war. We interviewed the families of EJK victims, specifically two mothers who lost their loved ones.

Photo with fellow grantee Alexandra Brizuela, during a production masterclass—2023

Mama BTS, with Ate Lydjay visiting her daughter—2023

Mama BTS, covering Nanay Mary Ann in a mobilization—2023

The fifth film is Redsh Alba’s thesis, Ligawang Malay (December 2024), which I co-produced with Julianne Reyes. I was already employed when its production commenced in 2024 so I only helped remotely and mostly online; attending the second half of the shooting day (or night as the call sheet was overnight). This is also my first production with a production house partnership that gave discounts for equipment rental and sponsorship from generous entities or private individuals. This was nominated for Best Short Film in Las Vegas Filipino Short Film Festival (Nevada, USA). (Follow Ligawang Malay Facebook Page.)

Ligawang Malay BTS, epal lang—2024

Ligawang Malay BTS, faking a moving car—2024

The sixth film and second documentary I produced is Nicole Basco’s thesis, Letters to Cinema (May 2026). Fresh from defense, I’m excited for more people to see this work since it tackles the working conditions in the film industry as the Eddie Garcia Law reaches its second year. This was special because of the unique process Nics and I took, working remotely, spanning over 3 semesters.

Letters to Cinema BTS, post-interview crew photo-op with cinematographer Neil Daza—2026

My body of work as a short film producer shares meaningful themes and covers different social advocacies, and my directors are all powerful women. Each has taught me new things and honed my skills in different aspects of filmmaking. From animal rights, gender identity, body autonomy, memory, and history to marital alienation, urbanism, working conditions, and labor rights, these six short films are not without politics—implicit or otherwise. It may not be a conscious effort on my end “to look for” them because really, they have always found their way to me, and I just find myself helping shape these wonderful projects and bring them to life. While “success” is relative, I’m happy that they always find their right audience, being a better recognition than awards, which makes filmmaking truly worth it.

WHAT HAPPENED IN 3 YEARS SINCE I GRADUATED?

I didn’t go home to Laguna after my graduation. I stayed in Quezon City and started looking for jobs. I remember applying for a management trainee position for an oil company, which did not work out even after passing different stages of interviews, an aptitude test, and a random concept presentation before a panel. I used to share that journey on my Twitter account, which got deleted after I missed reactivating it in time.

I took a social media detox after graduation, deactivated my accounts like logging out was not enough, and uninstalled them as well for self-control. It was almost depressing, as my allowance had stopped; my parents were no longer obligated since I had just finished school. I accepted the reality that I would be burning whatever was left in my meager savings unless I found a source of income.

Of course, I did apply to the major media companies. Funny, GMA replied recently, after 3 years, since I applied for an editor position as a fresh graduate. The reply seems automated, and they might be refreshing their system LOL! I got an offer from VIVA for 16k. I almost continued despite being below the minimum wage. Securing employment is a test of patience and mental health—let alone economic standing as more days went by silently with no progress from the hundreds of job applications I sent through LinkedIn, Jobstreet, Kalibrr, and directly to company emails.

I was not unfamiliar with the reality of a graduate of film, or media, or communication, or the arts vs science discourse in the country and in general. I knew, and I was living it. For the record, I didn’t subscribe to the notion that UP graduates get employed more easily or quickly. Perhaps for some, that might be the case, hence the stereotype. But I knew it was not always the case for everyone; it cannot be. Or maybe I was not just cut for it. Is it my speech disorder? Lack of a better undergraduate experience? Of course, the reasons I conceived were to put the blame on me and my incapability, but later I realized it was also the system’s fault. It was slow, ironically competitive, and traditional. I’m talking about my experience in both corporate and government structures.

I had an interview experience where the interviewer mocked my asking price of 20,000 (I deliberately lowballed myself after a series of failed applications with an asking price of 25k or so). He said, “Iho, nung panahon ko, 13k lang ang salary for entry-level jobs. Saan mo naman nahugot yang 20k?” I just kept my smirk, tried to justify something for nothing as I knew I wouldn’t proceed with that kind of people anyway. Fun and depressing times, indeed.

FIRST EMPLOYMENT

After two months and due to my material condition that I am running out of money and getting depressed, I accepted a job offer that pays minimum wage. I had no better option unless I borrowed money and waited out other pending applications (which, in hindsight, I should have! But time was a luxury I could not afford. My pride did not also allow me to go home conveniently and just simply stay with my parents.) I chose that offer even I knew there was a certain and better job offer coming, or did I? Well, I was receiving callbacks from my pending applications on my first day at work!

The role was an assistant editor, and the site was in Pasig City while duty was 6 working days a week from Monday to Saturday. I talked about my onboarding here: Wala ka pa sa realidad #01

After 3 months, my job description changed—not a promotion but an “update”, as the new contract explicitly stated—and I became a content associate with a slight pay increase. We were basically producing video content for e-commerce (aka online shopping, aka TikTok, Shopee, etc.).

The term was a 10-month fixed contract. The boss liked me. Too much that I essentially earned bargaining power, which I thought I must exploit, if I was already being exploited, right? In my final month, I was up for regularization and promotion—a rare case, the HR claims but is willing to do so upon my boss’s discretion. But I wanted to negotiate if I were to stay.

I had 3 terms: salary increase (of 50%, which they agreed), change the working days from six to five (which they rejected but eventually adapted a month after I left), and an across-the-board JD update if not promotion of my team (which HR explicitly frowned upon as I did not have the powers to ask according to them)—little did the HR know that all my terms were already on the table with my boss and the creatives team. I was merely trying to speed up the process so my boss would finally honor her word; it was her business after all. However, in those latter weeks with the company, my boss and I had stopped communicating directly, and administrative matters were left with HR and other managers. I was left to wonder whether things would have worked out if only we were able to talk directly like we used to before.

Well, that’s how capitalism works: business interest over employees’ welfare and benefits. I couldn’t get it all, but it was a sacrifice worth taking as my co-workers now enjoy a humane 5 working days. I just hope they are finally paid better today as I can see that my boss’s business is still alive, if not thriving.

Some time (& tsismis) later, I learned that I was called a rebel, that they wouldn’t hire someone from UP anymore if it were only to be an activist or disruptor like me. Good riddance, I guess. I would have built a worker's union if I had stayed as a regularized employee. Hahahaha! If the chika were true, thanks to my other co-workers who tried to defend me in my absence and recognized the contribution, if not sacrifice, I made for the team. They didn’t ask anything from me or for me to fight for them, nor have I asked anything in return; my terms might seem selfish (are they?) but I only wanted better conditions for everyone.

SECOND EMPLOYMENT

I have no regrets because a month after my unemployment and mass-applying again, I got job offers. Unfortunately, I was faced with the same dilemma between waiting for better ones or accepting what’s available. Sadly, with the little above the minimum wage I earned from my first employment, I was not able to save anything to sustain me for another month or so. Again, I had no better options but to secure a source of income as soon as I could. Again, my pride took over and made the decision. Again, I could not afford the luxury of time to wait any longer.

I took the marketing associate position with a work-at-home setup over a contract of service (COS) project officer position in a government think tank. The salary was the same as my asking salary if I had stayed in my first job. So somehow, I felt vindicated for not staying since I would earn the same asking amount, if not a little more due to other benefits, in my second employment.

Both follow a corporate system but this time, I was only doing one role. If I haven’t mentioned it yet, I worked an end-to-end content production in my first job and assumed multiple roles working six days a week. Now my main JD is copywriting under the creatives team of the company’s marketing department. It was life-changing, literally and financially, because I only work 5 days a week from the comfort of my home! I only get to see my workmates at least once a quarter of the year.

FREELANCING

This was also the time I entered online freelancing by offering my editing services outside my full-time job. It was also the reason why I was able to help produce the short films mentioned earlier even after I finished college. I had more time and have been utilizing the 2 rest days that I did not have previously for creative and personal pursuits.

NEW PLACE

I was able to move into a solo apartment and truly live an independent life since I graduated and my first job, where I still shared the condo with 2 roommates.

GRADUATION SPEAKER

In March 2026, I was invited to be the guest speaker for the graduation and moving-up ceremony of my alma mater. The full speech can be read here: 5 LESSONS OF A GEN Z: Full Speech JILS Graduation 2026

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I would only go home to my family during holidays and special occasions.

After college, I would enjoy Indigo’s festival runs, talkbacks, and special screenings.

After college, I would still keep my two best friends I met in college.

REDSH & EL

We all met as orgmates in UP Cinema. We worked together in productions. Redsh and I were classmates in some classes. El and I never had a common course. So it’s just reasonable that I was friends with Redsh first before El—whose nickname I claim to have given her (from “Elaissa”) that she happily embraced. I suppose it was through Redsh that we became friends after all. We were all dormers in and out of the campus. We struggled with the same school and helped each other graduate.

I just want to dedicate a space for these two as they’ve given me a space in their lives as I completed my UP journey and until today as a young adult.

El has shared this theory of being the same font but different genre (or same genre but different font) to describe people’s relationships and why they might work out or not. That makes sense in our friendship and explains why it works out, as more often than not, we would be the same font and same genre (in political beliefs, values, and aspirations; economic or social class and struggles; in vibes and attitudes, etc.). Our differences would just complement each other for the times of being different fonts or different genres, literally in films or music or fashion sense, or even geeking out on special interests.

I also have two best friends in high school, Ryan and JD, whom I said I would take a bullet for. (Read: Memento #Trio)

Now, I can also say the same for Redsh and El for they are the kind of people I would take a bullet for too.

They taught me celebrating birthdays is not too bad at all—since I stopped celebrating in my teenage years as a trauma response.

They taught me love languages through their love languages—that I didn’t know I actually possess, desire, and embody.

They kept me on ground, afloat when I was sinking, and hopeful for better and kinder days after a bad day.

They proved that friendship and love are genderless, fluid, and worth being alive for.

Since 2023, I relived my graduation more than once because of them. Witnessing El work so hard for her thesis research and defending it makes a friend really proud. I felt the same thing when Redsh finally defended her thesis film and finally donned the Sablay.

I was overjoyed as I was finally able to buy my own Sablay after borrowing for the two previous occasions. Paradoxically, it was a sweet reward gifting friends what you wish you had when graduating. But no presents would be enough to express gratitude (or maybe there is—we three would be happy for a ton of money nowadays in this economy, just spoil one another, and not work hard anymore jk!)

Shoutout to my friends and amazing people who made my journey more memorable:

#mabagSEC Marc, Alab, Jirah, Rafa, Mak, Mae, and Regine

UP Cinema EB AY21-22 Redsh, JT, Jean, Jetri, Julianne, Alab, and Sam

UP Cinema EB AY20-21 Raf, Ienne, Ivan, Tey, Kisha, and Raisa

UP Cinema Batch 28!

UP Cinema Alumni

POV x PVP Jean, Jean, Redsh

Crew who became friends or friends who became crew in Dogs, Rats, Indigo, Ligawang Malay, Mama, and Project Letters.

UP BADASS—my second org in UP Badminton Association, Batch High Hits

To my Acacia roommates

To my Blue roommates

KNL4some

Richard Bolisay—mentor, friend, college adviser

Professors & Institutions which I already acknowledged in the cbb of my thesis film hihihi
But let me paste the acknowledgement page of my manuscript:

My family, Alex, Melody, Meeko, Meeka, for providing my needs and allowing me to dream. Thank you for understanding and supporting this thesis financially.

UP Cinema, for providing a venue for self-expression and discovery. Thank for being my jowa and because of you, I have met the most amazing people.

UPFI, for shaping me and my dream despite all your imperfections.

Mayday Multimedia, for empowering me to stand and struggle with the people.

Sir Nick, for being an inspiration. Thank you for the guidance and allowing me share my story. Thank you for what you do for cinema.

Redsh and El, for being supportive and patient. Thank you for believing in me, for easing my anxieties, and for making the journey bearable. Thank you for everything!

Daniel A., for the ideas and criticisms. Thank you for being Daniel.

Jean L., Jean J., Allen P., Cath, Alina, for all the help. Thank you for supporting me.

Koocha, for being my safe space. Thank you for the trust and patience, for the food deliveries and booking my rides, for the Zoom meetings almost every night, and for simply being there.

Jeremy and Sir Roli, for bringing life to Indigo and Professor Diego Ramos.

Cinemasters, Floor 21, Sibalings Studios,

PSA, CSSP, COE, CAL, UPD OICA, FDCP, DZUP, Philippine Collegian,

Bangbang, Dr. Ricardo Jose, Sir Nori Palarca, Sir Richard Bolisay,

MabagSEC, Trio.

If you’ve truly read everything from the beginning until here, you just finished at least 7,000 words! The longest entry here (perhaps rivaling my academic papers).

Thank you for the time, and that concludes #NoWhereToGoButUP my UP journey 8-blog series written over a period of 8 years!?

8. This blog - 5 YEARS IN UP, finished writing 31 July 2026

7. Junior no more - THIRD YEAR IN UP, written from August 9 to December 30, 2021

6. Sophomore no more - IKALAWANG TAON SA UP, written on 23 October 2020

5. Freshman no more - ONE YEAR AT FILM SCHOOL, written on 05 June 2019

4. After my first semester - BACK TO SQUARE ONE, written on 22 December 2018

3. Blog after a month - ONE MONTH AT U.P., written on 14 September 2018

2. My first blog as I entered - U.P. WILL DESTROY ME, written on 11 August 2018

1. My UPCAT story - U.P. OR NOTHING, written on 01 May 2018

Part of my 2026 New Year’s Resolution is to reactivate/become active again in writing blogs and clear my archiving backlogs by sharing my written works which was the original intention for creating this space. Although I write as a full-time job, it’s corporate and puts food on the table. I wish to reignite my interest in life and cinema through writing about them.

Something to look forward to (note to self):

Wala ka pa sa realidad blog series
Alter blog series

While you’re here and if you like reading what I have in mind, I have another blog for film called SineSalita. Follow it on Facebook and WordPress as I also plan to revamp it this year!

Again, thank you for reading. See you on the next one!

TBWS

30 July 2026

Just like the old times, adding a gallery at the end XD