Unspoken IV
He was my opposite, but somehow to the least of my expectation, people later see us as the same person. I was sure that it’s only our physical attributes; however, I fear that we’re also alike inside.
I have become who I am now because of him. I become someone he was not. I turned myself to become his total opposite, a responsible and sensitive individual. Did I intend to become like this? Yes. I knew that I would never want to become someone irresponsible. I knew I could never become someone careless. I knew I should never become someone insensitive. Then I thought, all I was wishing is just not to become someone like him.
He isn’t a bad person. He is someone I thought who would be there when the situation called for his presence the most. He is someone I thought who could serve his purpose knowingly. He is someone I thought who should take the responsibility and be held accountable in times like this. –Or so just I thought.
He is someone who failed my every expectation; I wonder if he even tried fulfilling them. Yes, this is about him. This is about someone who disappointed me, someone who I eventually hate, and someone who I try not to become. He disappointed me when he didn’t do anything. What’s worse is knowing that he could have done something, but he chose and did nothing. He made me hate him when he couldn’t accept the affection I was willing to give. He has made me hate him more when he knew he needs loving but shuts people off who were there for him. That is when I knew I would not want to be like him. Now, he is someone I try not to become.
Under unexpected turn of events, little did I notice, I was becoming someone like him. But this isn’t about me but him. This is about how he took the things and people around him for granted. This is about how lonely he was and how much he suffered alone. This is about how he handled everything by himself and forgot there were people who could have helped him. This is about how he failed people, and –how he failed himself. This is about the choices he made and didn’t make, about the actions he did and didn’t do, and about the words he spoke and didn’t speak. This is about how little people knew about him, and how he made it that way. This is about how he isolated himself from everything, how he saved himself first from troubles, and how he turned around from his problems. This is about how coward he was to face the situation, and how he has persistently kept becoming one. But wait, I just said I was becoming like him. Am I not mistaken that this is actually about me? Who knows? Maybe it is, maybe not.
- TBWS
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